Teaganisms - Take 1

     As I said in my first post, Teagan is a very funny boy.  I thought I would dedicate this post to some of the things he has said in the past, which still crack us up, as well as some new things he has entertained us with.

     About a year ago, he was sitting in the car with our then lab-mix puppy, Ollie, and informed me that her breath smelled like hotdog water. I'm not sure he's ever seen or smelled hotdog water, but apparently to him, dog breath smells just like it, or maybe because Ollie was hot, he thinks hotdog water is more like hot dog's drool? Might want to consider this the next time you make hotdogs. LOL

     One day, Teagan was on his hands and knees behind the dog.  I asked him what he was doing and he said to me, "Ollie sniffed my butt, so I'm sniffing hers."  Seriously?  ROFL  So gross.
     Just a few days ago, my husband found a lost dog, so we took him in for the day, in order to find his owners.  Teagan really loved playing with that dog, until the dog, which was still a very young puppy, nipped his arm.  He said, "Mommy, the puppy bit me!"  I told him the puppy was just trying to see what he tasted like.  He said, "I can tell him that.  I taste like human.  NOT dog food."  ROFLMAO
     And on a more personal, but also slightly gross note... Teagan is well aware when mommy's "Aunt Flo" comes to visit, because mommy gets very cranky and isn't very fun. So, when he asks me to do things, I tell him I have cramps and my tummy hurts, and I don't feel like playing right now. Unfortunately, our toilet stops up without any warning, so when I went in to take care of that "personal" business, it stopped up one day, and I didn't know, and left the bathroom. Teagan went in shortly after, and came out all excited ranting and raving. I asked him what was going on, and he says to me, "Mommy! You popped out a cramp!!!" I was like, WTF?? So, he drags me into the bathroom, and I see just what a "cramp" looks like... it was the tampon that didn't flush properly. Poor child will be so confused when he's an adult... LOL
     About a year ago, there was an altercation with an African-American woman at Teagan's school. She was blocking the entrance and exit to the school with her huge SUV, and expected us to backup further holding up traffic, just so she could bogard her way inline of everyone else who had been waiting for 15 minutes or longer to pick up their children. She eventually cussed me out because I did what I usually do in those situations, the exact opposite of what I am expected to do. So, Teagan hearing all of this, I told my mom, who was with us, that I was going to call the school and report her behavior, because it was highly inappropriate with children going to their cars, and my own son sitting in mine listening to her foul little mouth. We are one of the very few white families in this school, so my mom says, "When you call, don't be afraid to throw the race card." Meaning, if we weren't white, she wouldn't have been so nasty. And Teagan replies to all this adult talk, "Yeah mommy, here, you can throw this race car! (he always has cars on hand) My mommy's gonna throw a race car! Mommy, what does the race car look like?" We just about died.
     On September 8, 2010, my car died several times on the way to taking Teagan to school.  He asked what was wrong with the car, and I told him there is a hole in a part of the engine, and he asked why.  I explained to him that it happened when Daddy wrecked the car back in March 2009.  So, he informed me that we should take the car to "Nappy Auto".  rofl  I asked if he meant "Napa Auto Parts", and he said no, it was "Nappy Auto".  I'm not sure I'd want to take my car to any place with the word "Nappy" in it... may end up getting my car back with no tires or rims...
     Last week, I was showing my mom these little tiny bumps on Teagan's back.  Now, I couldn't mention it outloud because when he hears about stuff like that, he totally freaks out, like he'll die from a little bump.  I was concerned they may be the beginnings of chicken pox, but without saying, "Hey mom, look at all these little bumps on Teagan's back and chest!", I said, "Hey Teagan, show mamaw all the hair you have on your back."  rofl  Well, the next day, my husband calls the family letting them all know that Teagan had gotten ahold of the hair clippers and wanted daddy to shave all the hair off his back.  Boys are so vain!  LOL
     One day, I was helping Teagan with his spelling homework, and one of his words was "gratitude".  I asked him to give me a sentence for the word "gratitude".  So, here was his sentence, "I have a bad gratitude."  ROFL  Seriously?
     Sometimes, Teagan gets little pimples on his "junk".  And we have to make him pick them, so they don't get worse or infected.  One night, he was spending the night with his mamaw, and he was showing her his latest pimple, explaining to her that the black pimples have "more chemicals in them than the white ones".  Supposedly, I had told him that, but I never did such a thing.  I have no idea where he comes up with this stuff.
     Teagan still has issues cleaning himself after he performs "#2", so today when he was performing his business, daddy went in to take care of the... err... business.  Teagan informed him, "Be gentle with the intersection where the poo comes out."  LOL  Never heard it called an intersection, always thought it was a one-way street.