Teaganisms - Take 2

Teagan was having issues buttoning his pants one morning, and I was joking around with him and asked him, "Honey, is your junk too big?"  He says, "No, well, yes, but no, my underwear is too small."


Teagan one morning was getting dressed with some help from dad, and was either having issues with his undies or honestly believed he had misplaced something, (I was trying very hard to get back to sleep at this point), and started turning around in circles.  His dad asked him what he was doing, and he said, "Trying to find my butt.  Where did my butt go?"


Teagan called me on the webcam the other day, sitting 10 feet away from me in the living room, proceeded to stand up in the chair and show me his butt.  Told him I could still spank it over the webcam if he kept it up.


Teagan was being a little smart butt, and I told him if he didn't stop, I was going to put my foot so far up his butt that they would have to take him to the hospital to remove it.  (Usually, I tell my husband the same thing, but it actually goes like this, "Honey, if you don't stop, I am going to insert my foot so far up into your butt that they will have to surgically remove it).  Teagan's reply to this was, "You won't be able to drive."  ROFLMAO  I told him he could go by ambulance.  What a smart butt.


Teagan was attacked by a kid at school one day, and all day long, I had been telling my husband and my mom (around Teagan) that I was going to put my foot "in it", if the kid didn't stop.  So, just before bed that night, he turns around and says, "I don't want to go to school because I'm afraid of <the kid>."  I told him not to worry about it, I was going to take care of it, and he says, "Yeah, you're going to put your foot in his ass."  I didn't actually say that, but I have said it many times, so I think he just assumed I would do it this time, as well.  ROFL


Teagan woke up one morning and said that Daddy heard him "snoring like a snake".  Err... snakes snore?


Teagan was being a brat one day, and putting his two cents worth into everything my mother and I were talking about.  So, my mom tells him to shut it, and he says, "No.  Can't.  Autism."  ROFL  If there is one person who embraces his special needs when it is convenient for him, it's Teagan.  LOL


Teagan came racing downstairs at my mom's house and said, "Mamaw, I need something, where is the something I need?" ROFL


After eating lunch, he said he was "stuffed like a baby turkey".  LOL


As he was watching me type this last post (see above) he says, "Teaganism.  Teaganism?  I don't have Teaganism, I have Autism."  LOL

Teagan says to me one day, all hyper & stuff, "I'm about to do my nutsack jump!"  And I replied, "No, Teagan, don't jump on me."  And he says, "Don't worry Mommy.  I'm not going to jum on your nutsack."  And I told him , "Teagan, girls don't have nutsacks." To which he replies, "Everyone has a nutsack Mommy."  Err... did I miss something?

Teagan was talking to my mom the other day, and he says, "Mamaw showed me an egg sandwich, and I smelled it, tried it, then bled it."  My mom says, "You bled on it?"  And he says, "Yes, I bled on it."  And my mom says, "Show me how you bled on it."  And he opens his mouth, sticks out his tongue and says, "Blech."  ROFLMAO