It took us four months to find a new therapist, and after one session with the therapist, Teagan, and I, then a second session with just the therapist and I, the therapist tells me, "You need to help him get his behavior under control before a therapist will be able to deal with his other issues." Are you f*cking kidding me? His behavior is WHY we are looking for a therapist. What the hell are doctors good for if they don't do what they are supposed to do? It is so f*cking frustrating. I hate the medical profession, or at least everyone we have dealt with these long, 9 years.
The therapist's suggestion was to try intensive in-home therapy again. Now, I haven't regaled you all with my horror stories of our intensive in-home therapy debacle. In September 2008, Teagan qualified for intensive in-home therapy. We were so excited, but also very busy at that time, so the in-home sessions actually occurred at my mother's house, because she picked him up from school while we both worked, and we would stop by for the tail-end of the sessions once we got off work. But, like I said, we were hopeful that this was going to help us develop some new much-needed parenting skills to help deal with disciplining Teagan, as well as just general skills such as public behavior control, etc. This program was supposed to last a maximum of six months. Now, the specifics were, three different therapists, three times a week, every week for six months.
Obviously, if I described this point in our life as a horror story, it wasn't how it was supposed to be. It started out all right. But about a month into it, we lost one of the therapists, either by dismissal or quitting, we never knew. Then about a month later, we lost another one. So now we were down to one therapist, who wanted to focus on marriage counseling, more than parenting. And then around January 2009, right about the time I was laid off from my job, we lost our remaining therapist. It was about a month or two before we got another one, and she lasted for exactly one session. We found out later than the one male therapist we had, who Teagan responded to so favorably that I threatened to kidnap him and take him home with us, because he could get Teagan to do things we never could, had actually had visa issues. He was from Peru.
So, off and on, we struggled getting a therapist, then finally about mid-summer, we got the perfect therapist. And she stayed! But we weren't getting the three times per week with three therapists were supposed to, but she did come 2-3 times per week, which was good enough for us. But then Teagan's hours got cut, and we were moved from intensive in-home therapy to community support, though the "community" part was a joke. The therapist never took him out into the community, so it was just another lie. This therapy nightmare finally ended in October 2009, and we swore we would never again put our entire family through it. It was inconvenient, frustrating, and a complete waste of time. That is not to say that it wouldn't work for other people with other agencies, but this one (I will not name it, I don't even want to taste the words) was a terrible joke.
So, here we are, still without a therapist, but there is a little hope. Part of the school program Teagan is in for behavior, requires all children to attend periodic individual and group therapy sessions, with family sessions optional, which of course, we participate in. I met with the school therapist about two weeks after I learned we had lost another private therapist, and told her our woes. She gave me some suggestions, but before I could try any of them, the next day, she met me in Teagan's classroom as I was picking him up, and said that she had spoken to the director, and the director had agreed to sit in with the therapist, Teagan, and I, so she could provide him with more in-depth therapy. How relieved are we?
3 comments:
I have to tell you that the therapist who told you to get your son's anger under control before you can go to therapy is an idiot. I actually had a therapist ask me once, what my child was thinking all the time. You could tell my son's wheels were turning he just couldn't find the words to express himself. I turned to her and told her that that was why I was sending him to her, to find out what's in his brain. needless to say we stopped seeing that therapist too. The idea behind therapy is to teach your child how to handle his frustrations and his anger, if the therapist can't do that then it is not your child's issue,but that the therapist is incompetent. It may take time, but you will find someone who can help, just make sure they do have a background in autism. It is a very specialized area and most therapists will say they can handle it but theya re clueless and won't admit it.
I admire you're courage and dedication taking care of Teagan, the most powerful therapy is the parents love and smile is most effective to ease the anger of your son.
Great post!! We had the same issue with an MSW. She blamed his behaviors on what she perceived as relational issues b/w my husband and I. I just thought, "If you know couples who have children with autism who don't have issues...let me meet them!! Why are we wasting time with you?" I think we lasted two sessions with the kiddos and 2 sessions with me trying to figure her out!!
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