Autistic Anger - The Final Frontier

     *sigh*  Well, it's been awhile my AOTA victims, and there's really no valid excuse for it, other than we have been dealing with the mother of all mood swings this last month and a half.  It really has been a nightmare.  Constant anger, hatefulness, violent acting out... it's enough for me to want to be sedated.

     It took us four months to find a new therapist, and after one session with the therapist, Teagan, and I, then a second session with just the therapist and I, the therapist tells me, "You need to help him get his behavior under control before a therapist will be able to deal with his other issues."  Are you f*cking kidding me?  His behavior is WHY we are looking for a therapist.  What the hell are doctors good for if they don't do what they are supposed to do?  It is so f*cking frustrating.  I hate the medical profession, or at least everyone we have dealt with these long, 9 years.
     The therapist's suggestion was to try intensive in-home therapy again.  Now, I haven't regaled you all with my horror stories of our intensive in-home therapy debacle.  In September 2008, Teagan qualified for intensive in-home therapy.  We were so excited, but also very busy at that time, so the in-home sessions actually occurred at my mother's house, because she picked him up from school while we both worked, and we would stop by for the tail-end of the sessions once we got off work.  But, like I said, we were hopeful that this was going to help us develop some new much-needed parenting skills to help deal with disciplining Teagan, as well as just general skills such as public behavior control, etc.  This program was supposed to last a maximum of six months.  Now, the specifics were, three  different therapists, three times a week, every week for six months. 
     Obviously, if I described this point in our life as a horror story, it wasn't how it was supposed to be.  It started out all right.  But about a month into it, we lost one of the therapists, either by dismissal or quitting, we never knew.  Then about a month later, we lost another one.  So now we were down to one therapist, who wanted to focus on marriage counseling, more than parenting.  And then around January 2009, right about the time I was laid off from my job, we lost our remaining therapist.  It was about a month or two before we got another one, and she lasted for exactly one session.  We found out later than the one male therapist we had, who Teagan responded to so favorably that I threatened to kidnap him and take him home with us, because he could get Teagan to do things we never could, had actually had visa issues.  He was from Peru. 
     So, off and on, we struggled getting a therapist, then finally about mid-summer, we got the perfect therapist.  And she stayed!  But we weren't getting the three times per week with three therapists were supposed to, but she did come 2-3 times per week, which was good enough for us.  But then Teagan's hours got cut, and we were moved from intensive in-home therapy to community support, though the "community" part was a joke.  The therapist never took him out into the community, so it was just another lie.  This therapy nightmare finally ended in October 2009, and we swore we would never again put our entire family through it.  It was inconvenient, frustrating, and a complete waste of time.  That is not to say that it wouldn't work for other people with other agencies, but this one (I will not name it, I don't even want to taste the words) was a terrible joke.
     So, here we are, still without a therapist, but there is a little hope.  Part of the school program Teagan is in for behavior, requires all children to attend periodic individual and group therapy sessions, with family sessions optional, which of course, we participate in.  I met with the school therapist about two weeks after I learned we had lost another private therapist, and told her our woes.  She gave me some suggestions, but before I could try any of them, the next day, she met me in Teagan's classroom as I was picking him up, and said that she had spoken to the director, and the director had agreed to sit in with the therapist, Teagan, and I, so she could provide him with more in-depth therapy.  How relieved are we?

AARRGGHH!!! Gods, he frustates the hell out of me!

     My child, who is an angel in my heart and soul, always... is also a little destructive devil.  The night of his birthday party, he was playing with a Thor hammer that his daddy was quite proud to have bought him for his birthday.  And part of playing with toys, in Teagan's mind, is completely destroying said toy.  He removed all of the foam around the inside structure, just to see what was in it.  Of course, this is not always the case, but the last two weeks, this is what he has been doing to all of his toys.
     Another thing he does is, when he gets mad, he will throw his toys, and if they break upon impact, he immediately gets upset that he broke them.  We have tried to explain to him before that his anger caused him to throw his toy and break it, but he will always try to blame it on the parent or person who angered him.  Because, after all, had they not angered him, he wouldn't have thrown and broken his toy.  Or at least he says so.
     It's just so aggravating, because Gods know we don't have any money, so what he does have, was bought out of love and the sacrifice of a bill or a tank of gas.  And then he destroys it because he's pissed off.  Grr!
     Anybody else have this problem?  If so, please, please, PLEASE let me know what you do.  I've had enough of his destructive behavior, I swear I am about to get rid of all his stuff.

This is why I hate people...

     My beautiful, generous, loving, and overly helpful son, Teagan, was enjoying his party yesterday at Chuck E. Cheese, when a woman and her very small daughter were coming down the stairs into the party area.  They were not part of our party, but were going to sit in some booths surrounding the party tables.  Teagan immediately went to them and tried to help her small daughter down the stairs, and the lady told him, "Stop."  And he said, "I'm just trying to help her down the stairs."  Then she said again, "Stop, leave her alone."  And he said, "I'm just trying to help!"  Then, this bitch, who I swear I was about to throw down with after I heard about this situation from his girlfriend's mom, said to Teagan, "But she is MY daughter."      

     Are you f*cking kidding me?  We have encountered situations like this before, and usually if I am there, I try to get Teagan to stop being so helpful, and the parents of his intended targets are usually like, "Oh, it's okay, he's not bothering blah blah blah."  They are very gracious and kind about it.  But this woman, who looked like she had been hit in the face with a shovel and if she smiled her face would break off, was a new breed of bitch.  I was so furious about it, literally four people had to hold me back from saying something to her.

     Yes, Teagan is overly helpful to the point of annoying people, but nobody, and I mean NOBODY has ever been rude about it.  If they are not understanding, they are at least tolerant.  It just angers me so much that anybody would act that way towards my child, especially not understanding why he does the things he does.  I curse her, in the hopes she becomes the victim of a natural disaster.  Mother Nature is a bitch, too, you know.

Brat Ban? OH HELL NO! 2/2

    *BIG SIGH*  Okay, so it obviously took me a few days to calm down, but that is not to say that I am still not pissed off about this whole mess.  Seriously.  Some people are just born to hate and I was born to hate them. 

     I was surprised that I haven't heard not one comment from any of my readers, and I know you have been reading my last post on this, because it moved up to my #1 most read post.  So, what's the deal?  I really want to know what you all think of this. 

     So, what do you think about it?  Send me an e-mail, send me a comment, send me something, but let me know that I am not the only one who thinks this is a load of bollocks.
     Aside from you all ignoring me... LOL  So, I think this is just one more way for the government to control how we raise our children.  They already say we can't spank them, or Child Protective Services will be called.  And when I say spank, I don't mean beat.  Just a swat on the bottom.
     So, it's because of this that children seem more ill-behaved in public nowadays.  Parents really are not allowed to discipline their children, appropriately.  Saying, "Now, Susie, don't do this, don't do that", doesn't always make a child stop.  In fact, a sibling-attitude towards your child can ruin your authoritative persona, making the child rude and beligerant towards you, because you have no control over them.
     What is the bottom line?  The government and the public is at fault.  They want to fuss about how children behave?  Make them have a child first, and see how well they do.  I guarantee they will change their tune, pretty quickly.

Brat Ban? OH HELL NO! 1/2

     ***WARNING!***

THIS ARTICLE EXPRESSES STRONG OPINIONS.*

     Okay, after reading an article on Yahoo's Shine blog, I was appalled, highly pissed, angry, upset, perplexed, pissed some more, a little calmer but no more understanding than before, then  pissed all over again.

     Now, let me summarize this horrible article.  Actually, the article was great, it was just what the article was about that was enough to piss any parent off.  First, here is the article link:  http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/parenting/the-no-kids-allowed-movement-is-spreading-2516110/

     Basically, the article was about businesses that are becoming child-free.  This includes, airlines, hotels, resorts, restaurants, golf courses, even Whole Foods stores in Missouri. (You live in Missouri and have kids, think about shopping elsewhere or find a babysitter). 

     Okay, so obviously, you know I'd have something to say about this, and it isn't nice.  If you have read some of my earlier posts, you know we have been kicked out of several restaurants because of Teagan's behavior, which really isn't behavior, because behavior is defined as a way in which one acts or conducts oneself. (dictionary.com)  So, given that definition, behavior is a choice, and when a child has special needs, there really isn't a choice, is there?  It is something that cannot be helped or contained.

    

     Like I said, I was pissed reading this.  Maybe I can understand on some airlines, like in business class, where most people are traveling for business and either need rest or to work.  But grocery stores?  Outside of a condo?  And this sign, "Playground Ahead, No Children Allowed."  Are you freaking kidding me?!?!  Who the hell is going to play on this playground?  Adults?  That's just creepy as hell, unless they are playing with their children. 

    

     And this other sign is posted in a restaurant in Carolina Beach, North Carolina.  Parents are already limited to what they can do with children.  ESPECIALLY with special needs children.  Why the hell would the public want to limit them further?  Do they not realize that these children are the future congressmen and congresswomen, senators, presidents, business leaders, scientists, geniuses, etc.?  They will remember when their parents could not take them to the movies or to that restaurant they always wanted to go to or to that playground around the corner. 

     OMG, there is no containing my anger over this, I swear it.  That's why this is a double post, and I will write the rest tomorrow, because if I write it tonight, it may end up more than two posts, such is my anger and hatred for childless oppressors right now.

What Fresh Hell Is This?

     Yeah, you read it right.  So, Teagan has been having a very, very shitty year.  First, we already discussed the assault by his first bus driver.  Then, we have to pull him from his hateful school, and put him in a behavior program, which he really isn't a behavior problem, but this was their solution instead of continuing to send him home because the teacher did not want to deal with his special needs.
     THEN... the teacher's assistant, who is fond of grabbing Teagan around the upper arm jabs her nail into his baby flesh, making him bleed and leaving an ugly mark.  You know there was hell to pay for that.  However, Teagan tried to confront her, and she called him a liar.  See below about this lying business.
     THEN... some hateful kid at school gets pissed off at him because he tells this kid that he saw him running to class.  The kid tells him to "shut the f*ck up" and lobs his calculator at Teagan.  Teagan says it hit him in the leg, his lying teacher says it missed him.  I'm more apt to believe Teagan.  He does not lie well.  Well, what I mean to say is, he just can't lie.  He doesn't know how to do it and we will never correct that.
     THEN... four days later, this same kid gets pissed off because everyone in class got ice cream as a special treat, and because this kid is the Devil Incarnate, he takes his anger out on the first kid he sees... which just happens to be MY F*CKING KID!  This kid punched Teagan in the face four times and somehow in all of this a very large (like 6 inches wide) bruise appears on his leg the same day, before the three full-time adults in a classroom of 8 children could pull him off of Teagan.  ARE YOU F*CKING KIDDING ME?!?!?!?
     THEN... three days later, two girls get into an argument at breakfast and one of them says the other girl made her nose bleed, and Teagan told her he didn't see any blood, she tells him to "shut the hell up" then pinches the shit out of him.  You should have seen the bruises.
     So... I call a meeting of the team leader, the school therapist, and his case worker, and I explain exactly how it is going to be.  I told them I see one more person, adult or child, leave a mark on my child again, I will be filing police reports.  I may still do it against that one kid who punched him.  He is a f*cking menace to society.  And threatened to yank him out of their program, if it happens again, which would result in a loss of funding from his Medicaid.
     You know, there really isn't much more than I can take, before I start throwing punches.  Does my child not have enough going on already?  And I've only given you all half of the story.  He has something more going on, that I cannot even go into, due to the personal nature of it.  Eventually, I may be able to share the last pieces of Teagan's mental puzzle, but for now, suffice it to say that Teagan's mental trauma threshold has been filled to capacity and is nearly overflowing, along with my threshold for patience with everyone.

Family-Friendly Businesses? Yeah right.

     Let's talk about businesses that are purported to be family-friendly, but in reality, hate disabled children. Without mentioning any names... there is a very popular international pizza restaurant with a red roof... that hates disabled children. When we first moved to our neighborhood, we went to this local pie spot, and there were only 2 other couples in the whole joint. Teagan, as usual, was very excited when he saw they had arcade games, and wanted to play them. However, our policy is that he must eat first, in order to play games.  So, much raucous and fussing ensued, and he did eat, but then kept leaving the table to go to the arcade games. The supervisor came to our table and told us that we would have to leave because Teagan was disturbing the other patrons. Are you serious? I don't want to throw the race card around, but we were the only white people there. And it was clear that the supervisor was friends with one of the patrons there, but they never even cast a sideways glance in our direction. So, we were ejected from the restaurant. Well, of course you know what came next. I am not one to back away from a fight, especially involving my child, so I wrote their headquarters a very nasty, very lengthy letter, stating that if this was the way they do business, they need to stop advertising as a family-friendly establishment, and advertise as a "we hate disabled children restaurant". I also reported them to the Better Business Bureau, and threatened to call the local media.
     Very soon after, I received a response to my letter, stating that the supervisor that night apparently had many complaints about him, similar to mine, and had been terminated because of his behavior. However, 5 years after the fact, we still have not returned to dine-in, but we do order take-out from them frequently, as they are the only pizza place that delivers to our house. :-(
     The next time we got kicked out of a restaurant, it happened twice at the same restaurant. Needless to say, we do not take Teagan there, and have only been there without him maybe twice in the last 5 years. It was a very nice Chinese buffet restaurant with amazing food. I really love their food. But when Teagan was about 5 years old, and again at 6 years old, we were asked to leave because he was being "too loud and disturbing the other guests". Needless to say, I raised hell, and the next time my mom was with us and she raised hell. My momma is just like me. We're a couple of hellcats that aren't going to put up with anybody telling me what they think of my child. He's my child. If I think he's a brat, that's my deal, not yours. You try raising him for a day, and see how many grey hairs you sprout while maintaining some shred of sanity.
     So, basically, our family dining experiences now consists of those restaurants that have playgrounds, where all the children are screaming like wild hellions and the parents are speaking even louder just to be heard over the noise. And it's just fine with me. You don't like my child? You don't deserve my money.