Teaganisms - Take 2

Teagan was having issues buttoning his pants one morning, and I was joking around with him and asked him, "Honey, is your junk too big?"  He says, "No, well, yes, but no, my underwear is too small."


Teagan one morning was getting dressed with some help from dad, and was either having issues with his undies or honestly believed he had misplaced something, (I was trying very hard to get back to sleep at this point), and started turning around in circles.  His dad asked him what he was doing, and he said, "Trying to find my butt.  Where did my butt go?"


Teagan called me on the webcam the other day, sitting 10 feet away from me in the living room, proceeded to stand up in the chair and show me his butt.  Told him I could still spank it over the webcam if he kept it up.


Teagan was being a little smart butt, and I told him if he didn't stop, I was going to put my foot so far up his butt that they would have to take him to the hospital to remove it.  (Usually, I tell my husband the same thing, but it actually goes like this, "Honey, if you don't stop, I am going to insert my foot so far up into your butt that they will have to surgically remove it).  Teagan's reply to this was, "You won't be able to drive."  ROFLMAO  I told him he could go by ambulance.  What a smart butt.


Teagan was attacked by a kid at school one day, and all day long, I had been telling my husband and my mom (around Teagan) that I was going to put my foot "in it", if the kid didn't stop.  So, just before bed that night, he turns around and says, "I don't want to go to school because I'm afraid of <the kid>."  I told him not to worry about it, I was going to take care of it, and he says, "Yeah, you're going to put your foot in his ass."  I didn't actually say that, but I have said it many times, so I think he just assumed I would do it this time, as well.  ROFL


Teagan woke up one morning and said that Daddy heard him "snoring like a snake".  Err... snakes snore?


Teagan was being a brat one day, and putting his two cents worth into everything my mother and I were talking about.  So, my mom tells him to shut it, and he says, "No.  Can't.  Autism."  ROFL  If there is one person who embraces his special needs when it is convenient for him, it's Teagan.  LOL


Teagan came racing downstairs at my mom's house and said, "Mamaw, I need something, where is the something I need?" ROFL


After eating lunch, he said he was "stuffed like a baby turkey".  LOL


As he was watching me type this last post (see above) he says, "Teaganism.  Teaganism?  I don't have Teaganism, I have Autism."  LOL

Teagan says to me one day, all hyper & stuff, "I'm about to do my nutsack jump!"  And I replied, "No, Teagan, don't jump on me."  And he says, "Don't worry Mommy.  I'm not going to jum on your nutsack."  And I told him , "Teagan, girls don't have nutsacks." To which he replies, "Everyone has a nutsack Mommy."  Err... did I miss something?

Teagan was talking to my mom the other day, and he says, "Mamaw showed me an egg sandwich, and I smelled it, tried it, then bled it."  My mom says, "You bled on it?"  And he says, "Yes, I bled on it."  And my mom says, "Show me how you bled on it."  And he opens his mouth, sticks out his tongue and says, "Blech."  ROFLMAO

Where Oh Where Has The MzFitToy Gone?

Bah!  Semester started, a not-so-little issue with my marriage, and Teagan's many adventures have been keeping me away from home.  I've been at my mom's for nearly 2 weeks now, but should be going home sometime today! 

I will work on some juicy posts for this weekend if I can find the time, if not, first thing next week, I promise!

Daily Holiday - May 18

Today is Visit Your Relatives Day!  No matter how far away, or how many years have passed between you, family will always be family, and they would love to hear from you.  How's about you givin' them a call today?

Today is also Turn Beauty Inside Out Day!  Just remember, you are beautiful inside and out, no matter what those jealous bitches say.

Daily Holiday - May 17

Today is World Hypertension Day.  For those of us afflicted by hypertension (yes, me included), just remember to breath, decompress, destress, and don't let the little things get you riled up.

(http://www.ish-world.com/default.aspx?Home)

Daily Holiday - May 16

Today is National Sea-Monkey Day!

And for those who have no idea what the

hell a Sea-Monkey is

(they weren't what I thought they would be)...

Sea-Monkeys is the brand name for brine shrimp sold in hatching kits as novelty aquarium pets in the United States, Canada, and the United Kingdom since 1960. Sea-Monkeys are often sold in plastic aquariums which include a water purifier and food. They can also be sold as eggs in a packet. They are sold under the title "The Amazing Live Sea-Monkeys Ocean-Zoo". ^[1] They are a variant of Artemia salina, a species of crustacean which enters cryptobiosis, a natural state of suspended animation, allowing their cysts (dormant saclike embryos) to be distributed and sold as a dry powder. When these "eggs" are poured into saltwater, the Sea-Monkeys start to come out of their cysts.  (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sea_monkey)

Daily Holiday - May 15

Today is the International Day of Families.  Hug your kids, smooch your spouse, call your mom and dad and tell them how much you love them! 

 

Today is also National Chocolate Chip Day, which is probably the most important secondary holiday of the entire year, in my opinion. 

That's right, Cookie knows what I'm talking about. 

  Go get your chocolate on!

Daily Holiday - May 14

OMG!  It's National Chicken Dance Day! 

Get your chicken wing on!

(Make sure you pause my audio player at the bottom of my blog so you can fully appreciate the music with this video.)

It's also Stay Up All Night Day! 

Let's do it!  We don't need beauty rest!

What Fresh Hell Is This?

     Yeah, you read it right.  So, Teagan has been having a very, very shitty year.  First, we already discussed the assault by his first bus driver.  Then, we have to pull him from his hateful school, and put him in a behavior program, which he really isn't a behavior problem, but this was their solution instead of continuing to send him home because the teacher did not want to deal with his special needs.
     THEN... the teacher's assistant, who is fond of grabbing Teagan around the upper arm jabs her nail into his baby flesh, making him bleed and leaving an ugly mark.  You know there was hell to pay for that.  However, Teagan tried to confront her, and she called him a liar.  See below about this lying business.
     THEN... some hateful kid at school gets pissed off at him because he tells this kid that he saw him running to class.  The kid tells him to "shut the f*ck up" and lobs his calculator at Teagan.  Teagan says it hit him in the leg, his lying teacher says it missed him.  I'm more apt to believe Teagan.  He does not lie well.  Well, what I mean to say is, he just can't lie.  He doesn't know how to do it and we will never correct that.
     THEN... four days later, this same kid gets pissed off because everyone in class got ice cream as a special treat, and because this kid is the Devil Incarnate, he takes his anger out on the first kid he sees... which just happens to be MY F*CKING KID!  This kid punched Teagan in the face four times and somehow in all of this a very large (like 6 inches wide) bruise appears on his leg the same day, before the three full-time adults in a classroom of 8 children could pull him off of Teagan.  ARE YOU F*CKING KIDDING ME?!?!?!?
     THEN... three days later, two girls get into an argument at breakfast and one of them says the other girl made her nose bleed, and Teagan told her he didn't see any blood, she tells him to "shut the hell up" then pinches the shit out of him.  You should have seen the bruises.
     So... I call a meeting of the team leader, the school therapist, and his case worker, and I explain exactly how it is going to be.  I told them I see one more person, adult or child, leave a mark on my child again, I will be filing police reports.  I may still do it against that one kid who punched him.  He is a f*cking menace to society.  And threatened to yank him out of their program, if it happens again, which would result in a loss of funding from his Medicaid.
     You know, there really isn't much more than I can take, before I start throwing punches.  Does my child not have enough going on already?  And I've only given you all half of the story.  He has something more going on, that I cannot even go into, due to the personal nature of it.  Eventually, I may be able to share the last pieces of Teagan's mental puzzle, but for now, suffice it to say that Teagan's mental trauma threshold has been filled to capacity and is nearly overflowing, along with my threshold for patience with everyone.

Ground Control to Major Tom

     Glad to see I was not the only one affected by Blogger's brain fart over the last 2 days.  It totally wreaked havoc all over my page, missing entries, entries I had posted were removed and scheduled for 2 days ago postings... OY!  I am working on reposting everything that is missing, but I'm not happy about having to do it again.

Family-Friendly Businesses? Yeah right.

     Let's talk about businesses that are purported to be family-friendly, but in reality, hate disabled children. Without mentioning any names... there is a very popular international pizza restaurant with a red roof... that hates disabled children. When we first moved to our neighborhood, we went to this local pie spot, and there were only 2 other couples in the whole joint. Teagan, as usual, was very excited when he saw they had arcade games, and wanted to play them. However, our policy is that he must eat first, in order to play games.  So, much raucous and fussing ensued, and he did eat, but then kept leaving the table to go to the arcade games. The supervisor came to our table and told us that we would have to leave because Teagan was disturbing the other patrons. Are you serious? I don't want to throw the race card around, but we were the only white people there. And it was clear that the supervisor was friends with one of the patrons there, but they never even cast a sideways glance in our direction. So, we were ejected from the restaurant. Well, of course you know what came next. I am not one to back away from a fight, especially involving my child, so I wrote their headquarters a very nasty, very lengthy letter, stating that if this was the way they do business, they need to stop advertising as a family-friendly establishment, and advertise as a "we hate disabled children restaurant". I also reported them to the Better Business Bureau, and threatened to call the local media.
     Very soon after, I received a response to my letter, stating that the supervisor that night apparently had many complaints about him, similar to mine, and had been terminated because of his behavior. However, 5 years after the fact, we still have not returned to dine-in, but we do order take-out from them frequently, as they are the only pizza place that delivers to our house. :-(
     The next time we got kicked out of a restaurant, it happened twice at the same restaurant. Needless to say, we do not take Teagan there, and have only been there without him maybe twice in the last 5 years. It was a very nice Chinese buffet restaurant with amazing food. I really love their food. But when Teagan was about 5 years old, and again at 6 years old, we were asked to leave because he was being "too loud and disturbing the other guests". Needless to say, I raised hell, and the next time my mom was with us and she raised hell. My momma is just like me. We're a couple of hellcats that aren't going to put up with anybody telling me what they think of my child. He's my child. If I think he's a brat, that's my deal, not yours. You try raising him for a day, and see how many grey hairs you sprout while maintaining some shred of sanity.
     So, basically, our family dining experiences now consists of those restaurants that have playgrounds, where all the children are screaming like wild hellions and the parents are speaking even louder just to be heard over the noise. And it's just fine with me. You don't like my child? You don't deserve my money.

Daily Holiday - May 13

Today is Friday the 13th!  Be careful out there.  Weird stuff always happens to me on this day.

It is also Blame Someone Else Day, my personal favorite.  LOL  So go ahead, blame it on someone else!  They won't appreciate it, but it might get you out of trouble for a day.

Daily Holiday - May 12

Today is Fibromyalgia Awareness Day.  For those suffering from Fibromyalgia, appreciate the little things that get you through your day.

Vaccine-autism link: New investigation

Vaccine-autism link: New investigation

(FOX 25 / MyFoxBoston.com) - Congress will hold hearings Thursday about a possible link between childhood vaccination and autism -- a subject that many thought had been put to rest earlier this year when the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention released a study suggesting that research does not point to an association between the two.
But according to information discovered in documents by safeminds.org, at least 83 families received federal compensation for money for vaccine-related injuries. And each of the children in those 83 cases suffered from autism.

The CDC released a statement supporting their initial stance that no link between vaccines and autism exists.
Now, a group of parents -- whose children are all living with autism -- is coming forward with their research that again points to vaccine as the cause.
Heather McLennand and her son, Liam, and Richard Deth, Ph.D., a professor of pharmacology at Northeastern University, stopped by the FOX 25 Morning News to talk more about the vaccine-autism link.Read more: http://www.myfoxboston.com/dpp/morning/vaccine-autism-link-new-investigation-20110511#ixzz1M5Edopa5

Daily Holiday - May 11

Happy National Eat What You Want Day!  For those parents who carefully plan what your special needs child eats, how about letting them have something they can't usually have today?  I'm sure they will appreciate it.  At least for one day. :-)

1 in 38? OMFG, Seriously?!?!?!?

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20110509/hl_nm/us_autism_korea
CHICAGO/SEOUL (Reuters) – One out of every 38 children in South Korea may have autism, a surprisingly high number based on a new research approach that suggests autism is a global problem that is significantly underdiagnosed, researchers said on Monday.

The estimate, which translates into 2.64 percent of children, is far higher than the estimated 1 percent rate seen in studies in the United States and Europe.

The study is the first to estimate autism in South Korea, and while the study needs to be confirmed, it suggests autism may be more common than previously thought.

Daily Holiday - May 10

Today is Lupus Day.  For all those suffering from Lupus, we support you in your battles.

Attack of the Autism: Train & Place Free Service Animals With Autistic Children & Adults

Attack of the Autism: Train & Place Free Service Animals With Autistic C...: "Seriously guys, go vote for this. It is part of the Refresh Project with Pepsi. If they win, they will get $50k to put towards training free service animals for Autistic Children & Adults."

Too Attached To Thin Air

     Teagan gets very attached to children he meets for the first time.  And usually the case is, it's the only time.  For instance, we went to someone's house the other day to buy a van while my car is having a PMS moment, and they had 5 children.  The oldest was around his age and he really enjoyed playing with him for the 2 hours we were there futzing around.  But when it was time to leave, he was so heartbroken that no amount of consoling could cure him.
     I am trying to rectify this situation from continuing to happen, by trying to find him a special needs play group.  We live in a horrible neighborhood with horrible thieving children next door, that I do not allow Teagan to play with.  Not only because they are little thieves, but also because the oldest girl is mean as hell to him.  She pinches, kicks, and hits him for absolutely no reason.  If this is the "I like you, so I'm going to whoop your ass" type of behavior, I'd just as soon rather he didn't have someone crushing on him to prevent him getting his ass whopped by a girl.  And it sucks, because there are like 5 children over there, and he really wants to play with them, but I just cannot allow it.  They have stolen stuff off our property at least twice now, and we've been forced to call law enforcement about it each time, but that does not deter them from stealing.  Either way, these children are not the type of kids I want Teagan playing with.  He doesn't need to learn anymore bad habits.
     It just breaks my heart when he finds someone he really enjoys playing with, only to have to take him away.  Most parents I have met are not interested in sharing their personal information to set up play dates, which I guess is perfectly understandable, considering the world we live in and all the crazies running around in it.  But it is no less frustrating.

     What do you guys do for your child?

Happy Mother's Day!

Your Mother Is Always With You...
Your mother is always with you...
She's the whisper of the leaves
as you walk down the street.
She's the smell of bleach
in your freshly laundered socks.
She's the cool hand on your brow
when you're not well.
Your mother lives inside your laughter.
She's crystallized in every tear drop.
She's the place you came from,
your first home...
She's the map you follow
with every step that you take.
She's your first love
and your first heart break...
and nothing on earth can separate you.
Not time, Not space...
Not even death...
will ever separate you
from your mother...
You carry her inside of you...
Author Unknown



   

     For all the mothers who have survived the temper-tantrums, opposition, booboo's, broken bones, broken hearts, loss of a child, and especially for every mother who has battled, is battling, or has survived battling Autism and any other disability, physical or mental, that has affected your child or children, we honor you this day. 

     SuperMan had a mother, and she was no less super, but possibly moreso than her child.  To all the SuperMoms, we thank you for all your hard work, perserverance, battles, and tears.  Without you, our children would not be the SuperMen or SuperWomen they are or will become. 

    

Daily Holiday - May 7

Happy National Babysitter's Day!  To all those patient, loving, and giving babysitters who handle special needs children with kid gloves, we celebrate our appreciation for you today!

Hatred of All Things... Medical - Part 2/2

      The next in line of Moron of the Century would be the team of doctors at our local hospital in the children's behavior ward. Teagan's then-psychiatrist (who was also a tool but seemed to REALLY like my husband) had prescribed him 8 different medicines to control his ADHD at the age of 5. Instead of removing some of them, she just kept adding on new ones. So, it was decided to put him in the behavior ward to revamp his meds. This was supposed to be a one-week-at-most stay. One week turned into a 3 1/2 week stay, with me bitching at every doctor because they weren't doing anything, and there was no reason to keep him in there, when he was miserable because he only got to see us about 3 hours a day, I was miserable because he wasn't home and because he was so sad and heartbroken because he felt we were abandoning him, and because I had had enough of those <insert my favorite naughty "F" word here> doctors. (My mom reads this so I have to behave... I don't say naughty words in front of my mommy. She'd put soap in my mouth!)
     So... when Teagan got out of the behavior ward, his then-psychiatrist won a double Moron of the Century award for prescribing him the same <insert that word again> medications he was on when he went in, at the same dosage which made him manic. He didn't sleep for 2 straight days. Whose neck did I want to wring just then? A month after just getting out, he was back in the behavior ward, but I warned them, it would not be like the last time. He was scheduled to participate for the first time in a Special Olympics event for Kindergarten children in our county, and they had 4 days to fix him or else. He might not have been fixed, but he at least did sleep, and he made it to the Special Olympics event, which made me marginally happy.
     You see, the problem with his psychiatrists is that they are all students. They are doing their residency for graduation, and they are all idiots. I cannot believe they actually allow them to graduate. And the attending doctors are not much brighter. Seriously.
     Teagan has been through so many medication changes, we are revisiting medications he's already been on, because there are literally no other choices. He has been on every ADHD medication there is for his age and weight, and a few that aren't really ADHD meds, but blood pressure or depression medications also slated to treat ADHD, but of course, these do not work either. The best one we have found is Concerta.  He has been on this several times, and out of all the medications we have tried, this one seems to help at least a little.
     Adderall is the Devil, by the way. For some reason, this medication makes children in my family completely nutso and causes them to kill animals, either on purpose or by accident. When my niece was 4 (who also had ADHD and other diagnoses), she was on Adderall, and she purposely killed a hampster. She said it bit her, so she smothered it, strangled it, and swung it around until it was dead. She would retell the story without remorse, and it was right creepy hearing it from a 4 year old angel. My son killed a parakeet on Adderall, but we believe this was by accident, he was very upset about it. At this point in his life, he had an obsession with covering the parakeet (and any animal really) with blankets. The bird was on the floor, he covered it with a blanket, and apparently forgot it was there, and accidently stepped on it. Either way, Adderall also made them both very agitated, aggressive, and physically violent with other family members, so we do not even allow any medications in the same family as Adderall to be prescribed to Teagan.

Train & Place Free Service Animals With Autistic Children & Adults - VOTE NOW!!!!!

Seriously guys, go vote for this.  It is part of the Refresh Project with Pepsi.  If they win, they will get $50k to put towards training free service animals for those Autistic babies and adults.  Many children and people affected by Autism cannot speak up for themselves.  Let's do it for them!

http://pep.si/eQpTMY

Some information about this project:

Specifically, this idea will help Adults and children with ASDs who are prone to wandering.

This idea is unique and innovative because It will make the dream of acquiring a service animal come true for many families

One thing that might surprise people about this idea is Autism service animals cost families approximately $20,000 each.

Daily Holiday - May 6

Today is Military Spouses Appreciation Day.  Thank you to all the men and women who stand behind their spouses fighting for our freedoms.

BTW, it is also No Pants Day!  I know some of you will appreciate this, if you have a child like mine who loves to run around the house nekkid.  LOL 

Hatred of All Things... Medical - Part 1/2

     I have already ranted about my hatred for medical professionals - not all of you out there, just the ones I've had to deal with.  It all began when we had to diagnose Teagan's Infant Torticollis.  I won't bore you with a recap of how all this came about, but you are welcome to read all about it in "A Mother's Worst Fear".  As if life isn't hard enough without dealing with morons with medical licenses... 
     I guess the next time we had to diagnose our son was when we realized he had ADHD.  His then-pediatrician (who has since been replaced and was a complete tool) kept saying, "He's a normal 2 year old, he's just going through his terrible twos."  And so... when the terrible 2's became the terrorizing 3's and his ADHD symptoms were getting worse, we changed doctors, told them our suspicions and low and behold!  "He has ADHD."  No shit.  Of course, we did not want to medicate him, but the team of doctors who observed him for 8 straight hours while deciding if it was ADHD (seriously) explained to us that he was a threat to himself and others because his ADHD was so severe, which we already knew.  So, we medicated him.  I know that a lot of you out there feel strongly against this, but in our case, Teagan honestly cannot function without medication.  His mind races so fast he can't complete a single thought or action.  It's a terrible sight to watch.
     About this time, Teagan was referred to a psychologist, who we really thought was going to be helpful, but I came very close to having charges filed against me for wanting to murder him.  Seriously.  The team mentioned before had shown us the "restraint" technique for calming a child down.  Well, I saw right then that it wasn't a good idea, but I was willing to try.  This new psychologist thought it was the end all to be all of techniques, and made me restrain him for 2 hours.  He struggled, cried, and fought so hard he fell asleep from exhaustion.  That was the last time we saw him.  I do not believe in restraining any child for 2 hours, no matter what is going on.  Ridiculous.  I still hate that man.
  

May is National Celiac Awareness Month

 

Celiac Awareness Month 2011 | NFCA

Home Sweet Home

     Phew!  Finally home, after spending a week and a half at mom's house while we rectify the transportation issue.  Just wanted to post a quick note to let everyone know that it might be this weekend before I resume my regular posts.  Have a million and one things to do, including three finals for school, a court hearing coming Monday, and all the other 999,997 things that I do during a normal week. 

     If any of you ever have any questions about Autism or something you would like me to cover in one of my blog postings, please feel free to e-mail me about it, and I will certainly do what I can. 

TiffanyWilson@triad.rr.com

Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder, But Hectic Lives Make It Dead Tired

   So, I haven’t posted in a few days, and it’s because it has been crazy here, as usual, but just a little crazier this week.  First, my car took a powder, and we’re still trying to fix it, while also looking for another car, in the event we cannot fix it.  The repairs, if we took it to a mechanic would be over $1500, and with no income, and both of us in school… just not going to happen.  So, because my husband had an incident the other day, and is unable to drive, the only way to get Teagan to and from school, to and from all his appointments, me to and from all of my errands and appointments, and my husband to and from school, we have been staying at my mom’s for the last week, which is great and all, but there are underlying issues with that, that I cannot even begin to go into, because it would take forever to explain.  Suffice it to say that it’s like walking on eggshells while we stay here.  Not because of my mom, she’s super awesome and great, as always.

   And it’s the end of the semester for both of us, so finals are looming, as well as last minute assignments, tests, and evaluations.  Blech.  Then there was the incident on Friday, when Teagan was attacked by a fellow student who has been known to attack other students with or without provocation.  This time, Teagan simply said, “I saw you running to the classroom,” and the child proceeded to tell him to “Shut the F&#$ up” and threw his calculator at him.  Luckily Teagan was not harmed, or I would have gone to the school that same day and jerked that kid up by his ear and explained to him the way of the world in a way that he certainly would have understood.  I do not take bullying lightly, especially when my child is the victim.  Not happening.

     Anyway, it’s been a nightmare week, and I wanted everyone to know that I haven’t forgotten about my little blogies, just have been so busy I haven’t had any time to myself, and it might be a few more days before I actually find the time to stop and take a breath.