Back in the Saddle

I know, I know... it's been AGES!  But things have been so incredibly chaotic here.  I promise to have a really good post in the next day or so, along with some great, brand new Teaganisms.  You guys are gonna love these... LOL

Thanks for being patient and continuing to follow me even though I have completely abandoned you all!  Now that school has ended for me (at least for awhile), I will have a little extra time to share our anything-but-normal lives with you all.

Merry Christmas!

Oh, how I miss having the free time to write on my blogs.  Hopefully that is now rectified, and I will have more time to share our life with our loyal readers, friends, and family members.

Things have been very hectic.  I started homeschooling Teagan and his cousin Kaitlyn in March 2013.  We finished up that school year, and are now in the middle of our first official full 6 month school year.  The children are eager to finish school as soon as possible, so it was decided to do a 6 month year instead of a 9 month year like traditional public schools.  Instead of 5 hours of school a day, the children do 8 hours.  It's not always easy on any of us, and sometimes very frustrating, but they are both doing well, with the exception of the occasional hiccup.

We've just managed to survive the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays.  And I wanted to take the time to wish everyone who has been loyal, checking our blog to see if we've posted anything new (even though we haven't), a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! 

With the new year will bring some free time to keep up with our Blogger family, and I look forward to sharing our world and my beautiful, sweet, exceptionally intelligent son with you all.

Teaganisms - Take 6

The morning Teagan turned 9 years old, I was showing Teagan photos of himself throughout the years, from the day he was born until now, and he said, "Awww... I was such a cute baby."  And of course, I agreed.  Then we went to the next photo and he said, "Still cute."  And the next one, "Still cute."  And the next, "Yep, I'm still cute." ROFL

Teagan was taking off his shirt one day, and he was having some trouble so he got his head stuck inside.  I hear from within the confines of his shirt, "Man, it smells gnarly in here!"  I started laughing, and once he got his shirt off, he came over to have me nasally inspect his armpits.  Trust me, it was definitely gnarly in there.  ROFLMAO

A few days before Halloween, Teagan and I were discussing carving up some pumpkins for Jack-O-Laterns, and he had this to say: "We could just poke holes into the pumpkins to make them like Swiss cheese.  And then we could put a Swiss candle in there."  And to that, I asked, "What is a Swiss candle?"  And he says, "You jam a candle in a piece of Swiss cheese, then put it in the pumpkin."  So, naturally, I asked, "What is a Swiss knife?"  To which he responds, "You jam a knife into a piece of Swiss cheese, and it makes a Swiss knife.  We could put the Swiss knife into the Swiss candle and put them in the pumpkin!"  Sure we could.  LOL


Teagan and I were playing Kirby's Epic Yarn, and he was upset because he couldn't do this one thing, so he said, "You cheat!"  And I asked how?  He said, "All the time on repeat and continuous games."  I asked how I cheated?  He said, "You are full of cheatingness."  Of course I am.  ROFL


Near our house is a car repair and lube shop.  In the parking lot, they have a car turned upside down on its roof.  One day, as we passed by, Teagan says, "Mommy, when the van stops working, can we turn it upside down?"  I said, "Teagan, with me, you, daddy, mamaw and papaw, we wouldn't be able to flip it over.  The car weighs like 1,000 pounds."  And he said, "Well, we need to find a man or woman who weighs 1,000 pounds and have them flip it."  What logic!  LOL

Dead to the World

O-M-G!!!  Has it really been almost a year since I've last posted?!?!  No excuse, whatsoever!  Well, actually... no excuses, but tons upon tons of reasons, some of which I will try to briefly explain.

In the AOTA household, there is always some form of chaos going on.  Let me think back.  So, my last post was June 2012.  I had just recently graduated college with my first A.A.S. in Criminal Justice with a specialization in Latent Evidence.  I was entering into the middle of my summer semester at the same college for transfer credits, and to complete 1 credit hour for my A.A.S. in Criminal Justice.  In September 2012, one of our cars was stolen from our property.  It wasn't running, but the thieves had the balls to bring in a tow truck and hauled it away.  We have yet to locate it, and the police said they would not search for it, given the time and manpower it would take to investigate it.  Am I really going into the law enforcement sciences?  Shoot me now!

Let's see.  A bunch of other things happened that I cannot recall at this time, but in March 2013, we finally made the move to pull Teagan out of public school and begin homeschooling him.  We are on our 2nd month, and so far, it's going great for him.  I am also homeschooling my 14 year old niece who was not able to stay in school long enough to pass this year.  She was a habitual skipper, runaway, misdemeanor-committing, felony fire starting, promiscuous druggie.  Those last two we're not sure if she still is or not, but as always, I assume the worst.  However, she is doing well in homeschool, though she will not pass this year, but there is hope for the next four years.  :-/

Today, I also graduated again with my A.A.S. in Criminal Justice.  And will be resuming transfer credits in the summer for the next year, and transferring for my B.S. in Forensic Biology in the Fall of 2014.  I just can't do it this year, as planned, because homeschooling is kicking my ass.  Grading papers, preparing lesson plans, teaching, researching field trips, creating tests... it's as bad as two full-time jobs, and I still go to school full-time myself!  There is NEVER enough hours in a day.

I do apologize for not being more active on this blog.  When I first started it, I had planned to chronicle at least weekly events in our lives with Autism, but as anyone affected by Autism knows, sometimes, life has other plans.

My new goal, however, is to post more often.  Teagan is beginning to exhibit signs of puberty, and I can just imagine the posts I'll be able to write about all those adventures.  :-/

AOTA - M.I.A.

Yeah, you read that right.  I have been so busy with school it's been nuts.  I actually graduated in May with a double Associate's Degree in Applied Science for Criminal Justice and Criminal Justice with a specialization in Latent Evidence, and turned right around to return to school to finish my transfer credits for another year, then on to complete my Bachelor's Degree for two more years.

     Then, in April, we found out one of my sisters was 5 months pregnant, so it's been running her everywhere, because she doesn't have a car.  And then there's planning her baby shower.  And of course, Teagan is in a summer program, so it's been really busy. 

     I apologize to my AOTA Victims.  I have been a neglectful blogger, and I will try to post new stuff very soon.  I am working on another beloved Teaganisms post.  You deserve one!

The History of the Witch's New Year

     We all know what Halloween is.  Kiddies dressing up as ghoulies and goblins, princesses and princes, Star Wars and Yo Gabba Gabba! characters, hopping from house to house to get treats of chocolate and sugary-sweet deliciousness.  But did you know that the origin of the word "Halloween" comes from "All Hallows Eve", the day before Pagans (and Catholics surprisingly) honor the passing of loved ones on All Saints' Day.
     Did you also know that All Hallows Eve is called the Witch's New Year?  Do you even know what a witch is?  And no, I'm not talking about broom-riding, wart-sporting, frog-loving witches.  I'm talking about Wiccans, those nature-loving, Rede-following witches that are still taboo in today's society, but steadily gaining ground in acceptance.  The Witch's New Year begin at sunset on Samhain (pronounced "sow-en"), which is the same day everyone else celebrates Halloween.  On Samhain, Wiccans gather for a feast with family and friends, to honor the passing of love ones throughout the years, and to attempt to reach them beyond the veil.  It is also a time to finish unresolved matters, and look forward to a fresh start in the new year (which begins November 1).
     Why am I writing this on Teagan's blog?  Because Teagan is a Pagan name derived from Gaelic meaning "little poet", and it was fitting that my little Wiccan (hopefully) boy will grow up to embrace his mother's religion.  And if that doesn't work out, then he can embrace his father's Methodist religion.  Or whatever religion he chooses, but I will always hold out for a little witch boy.
     So, if you are just celebrating Halloween, or reconnecting with lost loved ones for Samhain, be safe, be mindful, and be merry.

President Obama Signs C.A.R.A.

I'm sure most of you have heard about this already, but in the event you haven't, I have posted the link to the Autism Speaks blog post about it below.  It's still a battle in progress, but we are finally gaining ground.

http://blog.autismspeaks.org/2011/09/30/president-obama-signs-cara/

60 Seconds to Death

 It has taken me a week to be able to write this post, and once you have read it, you will see why.  When you have a child, most new parents do everything they can to be prepared for anything and everything, and you honestly feel you are ready to tackle whatever life throws at you.  When we were pregnant, my husband and I took infant and toddler CPR classes, as well as Heimlich maneuver classes for pregnant women (you can never be too careful!). 

     Nine long years came and went, without anything more serious than a slightly sprained ankle, which happened fairly recently.  So, a week a go, we were eating dinner, and Teagan (as usual) was eating way too fast and talking while he was doing it.  About halfway through his hamburger, he starts to cough, or so it sounded to me, so I told him to get a drink.  After several attempts to get a drink, and it coming right back up, my mom alerted me that he was choking.  He wasn't holding his throat, and because of the sounds he was making, it did at first sound like he was coughing.  I began doing the Heimlich maneuver (not realizing until that moment just how unprepared I was to perform this maneuver on a child, having only ever seen it done for a pregnant woman, and I was on the receiving end of the demonstration).  After about 20 seconds of this not working, I jerked him upside down one-handed (which is quite a feat, because he weighs over 75lbs), and nearly beat the stuff out of his back.  Nothing happened.  So I turned him back upright, and resumed the heimlich maneuver. 
     All the while, what's going through my head?  Why is my mom not calling 911 (we were having dinner at her house that day), what if I can't get this thing out of Teagan's throat, what if he passes out, will I be able to remove it, and perform CPR properly?  Oh, and OMG, not to mention that just recently there was a news story about a couple on a cross-Atlantic flight, and the man choked on his dinner and died, even with medical staff on board, and his girlfriend had to ride with him for over 7 hours until they were able to land.  If medical staff could not save him, why do I think I can do any better for my son?  Because this thing in his throat, whatever it was, was really pissing me off, and upsetting me, and making me panic for the first time in my life, and I was going to kick it's ass.
     And after 60 seconds of battling, literally for my son's life, that thing (which ended up being a 3 inch long piece of hamburger) got its ass handed to it.  And then I had a 2 day mental and emotional breakdown. 
     The lesson learned?  I obviously need to find a Heimlich maneuver class, and take it every year for the rest of my life.  And also, why the hell do they not teach you how to perform the Heimlich maneuver on a child during these infant and toddler CPR classes?
     Hug your children every day, and cherish every breath they take, because the one time they are not able to draw breath will literally scare the hells out of you.  Be prepared, be hyper-vigilant, and force them to eat smaller bites and chew 100 times.  Seriously.
     Below, I have included a link on how to perform the Heimlich maneuver.  Please take a few moments to view it, and at your leisure, look up videos showing how to perform this very useful and lifesaving technique.

http://www.drugs.com/cg/performing-the-heimlich-maneuver.html

Autistic Anger - The Final Frontier

     *sigh*  Well, it's been awhile my AOTA victims, and there's really no valid excuse for it, other than we have been dealing with the mother of all mood swings this last month and a half.  It really has been a nightmare.  Constant anger, hatefulness, violent acting out... it's enough for me to want to be sedated.

     It took us four months to find a new therapist, and after one session with the therapist, Teagan, and I, then a second session with just the therapist and I, the therapist tells me, "You need to help him get his behavior under control before a therapist will be able to deal with his other issues."  Are you f*cking kidding me?  His behavior is WHY we are looking for a therapist.  What the hell are doctors good for if they don't do what they are supposed to do?  It is so f*cking frustrating.  I hate the medical profession, or at least everyone we have dealt with these long, 9 years.
     The therapist's suggestion was to try intensive in-home therapy again.  Now, I haven't regaled you all with my horror stories of our intensive in-home therapy debacle.  In September 2008, Teagan qualified for intensive in-home therapy.  We were so excited, but also very busy at that time, so the in-home sessions actually occurred at my mother's house, because she picked him up from school while we both worked, and we would stop by for the tail-end of the sessions once we got off work.  But, like I said, we were hopeful that this was going to help us develop some new much-needed parenting skills to help deal with disciplining Teagan, as well as just general skills such as public behavior control, etc.  This program was supposed to last a maximum of six months.  Now, the specifics were, three  different therapists, three times a week, every week for six months. 
     Obviously, if I described this point in our life as a horror story, it wasn't how it was supposed to be.  It started out all right.  But about a month into it, we lost one of the therapists, either by dismissal or quitting, we never knew.  Then about a month later, we lost another one.  So now we were down to one therapist, who wanted to focus on marriage counseling, more than parenting.  And then around January 2009, right about the time I was laid off from my job, we lost our remaining therapist.  It was about a month or two before we got another one, and she lasted for exactly one session.  We found out later than the one male therapist we had, who Teagan responded to so favorably that I threatened to kidnap him and take him home with us, because he could get Teagan to do things we never could, had actually had visa issues.  He was from Peru. 
     So, off and on, we struggled getting a therapist, then finally about mid-summer, we got the perfect therapist.  And she stayed!  But we weren't getting the three times per week with three therapists were supposed to, but she did come 2-3 times per week, which was good enough for us.  But then Teagan's hours got cut, and we were moved from intensive in-home therapy to community support, though the "community" part was a joke.  The therapist never took him out into the community, so it was just another lie.  This therapy nightmare finally ended in October 2009, and we swore we would never again put our entire family through it.  It was inconvenient, frustrating, and a complete waste of time.  That is not to say that it wouldn't work for other people with other agencies, but this one (I will not name it, I don't even want to taste the words) was a terrible joke.
     So, here we are, still without a therapist, but there is a little hope.  Part of the school program Teagan is in for behavior, requires all children to attend periodic individual and group therapy sessions, with family sessions optional, which of course, we participate in.  I met with the school therapist about two weeks after I learned we had lost another private therapist, and told her our woes.  She gave me some suggestions, but before I could try any of them, the next day, she met me in Teagan's classroom as I was picking him up, and said that she had spoken to the director, and the director had agreed to sit in with the therapist, Teagan, and I, so she could provide him with more in-depth therapy.  How relieved are we?

Having Lice for a Minute

     So, I haven't told this story yet, but it just reaffirms my hatred of all things educational.  (Please see my 5 past posts about "Hatred of all Things... Educational" for some insight to my opinion about the North Carolina school system.) 

     Teagan's school had scheduled for his class to attend a ball game of the local baseball team.  Teagan had seen them before, but that was before they changed their name from the Warthogs to the Dash, and before they built the new, fancy stadium, so he was really looking forward to going, for the past two months.

     So, that morning, as we were getting ready, Teagan went into the backyard to play, which wasn't usual for him.  We don't let him play outside alone, because of the type of neighborhood we live in.  It's just not safe, and you know how protective I am of him.  He climbed into his daddy's truck, which was covered in dirt and debris, because his daddy had cleaned out the gutters the day before, and hadn't had a chance to rinse off his truck. 

     Anyway, so we took Teagan to school as normal, and his dad and I arrived back at home around 8:30am.  At 8:45am, his school calls to inform me that Teagan is "complaining about his head itching and has black specks in his hair that looks like lice eggs, but there were no visible bugs." 

     Now, for those of you who have had lice as a child or ever dug lice out of a child's hair, you know that lice eggs are white, and if there are eggs, there are bugs.  Simple as that.  So these black specks were obviously dirt from the truck. 

     So, I go to the school with his daddy, and we look over him thoroughly, but at the same time, I am telling the lady who called that it's just dirt from playing around his daddy's truck and that lice eggs are white not black, (I honestly have no idea who this woman is, but she annoys me at least once a week).  And to boot, one of these "specks" was blue.  They have Smurf Lice now?  Seriously.  She explains that she can't put the other children at risk (of what?  Catching dirt specks?  OMG), and that he has to go home.  Well, that's total BS.  So I tell her, if I get him looked at by his pediatrician, and they say that he does not have lice (which I knew damn well he didn't), can he still go to the ballgame?  She said he could, but only with a doctor's note. 

     So, here I am, it's 9:15am, trying to get Teagan into his pediatrician's office well before noon, because that is when the bus would leave for the ballgame, and also dropping his daddy off for his appointment.  We got into the pediatrician's office for a 10am, bless them (Ford, Simpson, Lively, & Rice Pediatrics if you are in the Winston-Salem area), and I tell the woeful story about morons, having lice for a minute, and how ignorance is bliss.  And the verdict is... No lice.  Duh!

     So, we rush back to the school, I take him to class, I hand the teacher the doctor's note with a look that would melt lava, and he went to the ballgame.  Freaking seriously.  Educate yourself if you are worried about childhood diseases and epidemics.  I hate the school system.

Teaganisms - Take 5

Just so you know, this is extremely embarassing for me to recount, which should show you just how much I love you all. I hope you all choke on this installment of Teaganisms. ROFL Just kidding.


So... the other morning, I was fixing my hair while wearing a tank top, and Teagan looks over, and squeals excitedly, "Mommy! Mommy! You grew armpit hair!" ROFL I said, "Errr... yeah, now I'm a big boy, go away." LOL Later on I tried to explain the mysterious act of women shaving their armpits which completely confused him, and he gave up to watch television.


There is a little girl in Teagan's school, whom I have never heard of, until the day we were passing out his birthday invitations. He said, "Oh, I need to give one to Skylar." And I'm thinking, who? So, we go across the hall, and he hands one to this cute little blonde-haired, white girl about his age. I recognized this girl, because about 15 minutes before that, the kids got off the van from a field trip, and she says to me, "Hi Teagan's mom." I said hello back, but I had no idea who this kid was, and how she knew who I was. Now I know. rofl Well, the next day, we are taking Teagan to school and trying to figure out who this Skylar girlie is and why it was so important to him to invite her to his party, even though she isn't even in his class. And he says, "Mommy, can you put me on a dating site on the internet?" And I'm like WTF? So I ask him why, and he says, "So I can learn how to be nice to girls." And of course, again, I'm like WTF? And after asking him why, he says, "Because I want to date Skylar." Well, now we all know who Skylar is. You know, he's only 9 years old. It's not like he's even pre-teen yet. We are doomed!


One morning, on the way to taking Teagan to school, my husband and I were having a conversation. I don't remember what it was about, but I do know that it wasn't about anything that came out of Teagan's mouth. He says, "I'm not old enough to choose to make out or not to make out." I said, "WHAT?" And he repeats it. Then I ask him, "What is making out?" And he says, "When you date." So, I say, "Oh, well, it's good you aren't old enough to make out then." And then he says, "I want to make out with Skylar." My husband and I nearly died of a heart attack. And then Teagan says, "We're going to go to a restaurant." So, not only is he interested in dating this Skylar, but he also has it all planned out. He is going to go on an internet dating site, for what he presumably believes is to teach him how to be nice to girls, then he is going to take her to a restaurant, then make out with her. Heaven help us!

And if it isn't bad enough he has a girlfriend... he thinks once he gives his girlfriend her birthday gift, (see photo to the left), that they will be married, and are going to move in with us. Oh... ignorance is such bliss. If he knew just what marriage was all about, he wouldn't rush into it at the ripe old age of 9.

Introducing the AOTA ASD Blog Directory

     The Attack of the Autism ASD Blog Directory on the AOTA blog.  This is a new feature on the AOTA blog, and I hope placing all of the blogs that are ASD-related will help other parents with newly diagnosed children, parents who have been around the block more than once, or parents who are struggling with coping with ASD find new resources quicker.


    
FAQ's

Is my blog considered ASD-related?

ASD stands for Autism Spectrum Disorder.  Diagnoses listed under ASD are:

• Asperger's Syndrome
• Pervasive Developmental Disorder - Not Otherwise Specified (PDD-NOS)
• Autistic Disorder
• Rett's Syndrome
• Childhood Disintegrative Disorder. 

If you blog about any of these conditions, you are considered ASD-related.

Are serious or informative blogs only allowed?

No!  As you may have read, my AOTA blog is part serious, part informative, and part humorous.  No matter what topics you blog about, so long as the main focus of your blog is ASD-related, I will accept your blog.

What do I need to do to be listed in the AOTA ASD Blog Directory?

Below the AOTA logo, you will find tabs to my pages.  If you click on the "Link Exchange" tab, you will see a form that you need to fill out and submit.  When you come to the question, "Have you added the AOTA badge or reciprocal link to your blog?", choose the second option of "No, not yet..." and I will e-mail you the AOTA ASD Blog Directory badge specifically made for the directory.  Of course, you are more than welcome to grab my other badge, as well! :-)

How long will it take to get my blog approved and listed?

It may take up to 48 hours, but usually within a few hours of receiving your request.  If you have any questions, please feel free to e-mail me at AttackoftheAutism@rocketmail.com or through the e-mail listed on the AOTA blog profile.

I Warned You...

     I have previously told you all about the horrific year Teagan has had at school.  I told you about the assault by his bus driver, the kid in his class who punched him in the face four times because he just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, about the girl who pinched him because he told her he didn't see her nose bleeding, the teacher who left marks on his arm (later on, I found out there was at least one other child she had done this to and other unspeakable things to the same child - there's a word for her, it starts with a B and ends with an ITCH.).  So, after all of these things, I went to the school and told them this, "Teagan will put up with all of this for only so long.  Once he reaches his breaking point, he will fight back, and there isn't a damn thing I will say about it, because I'm telling you now, if you cannot keep other children's and adult's hands off my son, you will not like the consequences."  And I wasn't only speaking about what I would do if it happens again.
     So, one day, not so long ago, Teagan got into trouble at school for hitting and kicking another child.  Why did he do this?  Because the child was picking on him, like he always does, and Teagan had had enough of his bullshit.  Teagan did get a stern scolding from his father and I, however, I did warn them.  Again, more recently, Teagan hit another child because he had hit Teagan first.  We did the scolding thing, but again, we aren't going to punish him for something I warned the school would happen.  Teagan has every right to defend himself, if the school can't handle their kids.
     What I plan to do, is go to his classroom the next school day, and tell the children exactly what will happen to them the next time they lay a hand on Teagan.  I have already told the school that I will call the police if it keeps happening, and now it's happened twice since then.  Of course, both times Teagan did retaliate, but you know what?  It's self-defense, and even law enforcement will agree with that.  I've had enough doing it their way, their way doesn't work or keep my child safe, so now it's my way.  And if they haven't figured out by now just how much of a bitch I can be when it comes to my child, they will soon learn.

I Survived Chuck E. Cheese...

...but just barely. 
     I love throwing birthday parties for Teagan, and over the years, we have had some really fun parties.  The best, of course, was the year we threw him a pirate party.  Every parent in attendance said it was the best party they had ever been to, and though it took three months to plan it out, Teagan got maimed, and I was nearly dead by the end of it, it was the best party ever.
     But this year, it just seemed to take a lot more out of me than usual.  Every year we have special needs children at Teagan's parties, so it definitely wasn't the fact that this year was no different that caused my extensive exhaustion.  I just think I'm getting too old for this crap. lol
     This is why I've decided, next year when Teagan turns 10 years old, that will be the last year I throw him a birthday party.  Except for when he turns 16, 18, 21, 30, and 50, of course.  That is, if I live long enough to see those years.  The rate Teagan and his daddy are going, they are going to kill me long before I get the chance.
     Well, here are the long awaited photos... actually, you only waited a little over a week for these. rofl

Teagan's Cake

Teagan's 3' Chuck E. Cheese Balloon

The table is set!

The pull-string piñata

Teagan blows out the candles!

Teagan in the ticket cyclone machine thingy. rofl 

He really cleaned up in there! 

Ended up wtih over 1400 tickets!

Teagan opens one of his gifts

Teagan getting his grin on

Potty, Potty In Da House!

     Oh, the things I must discuss, but I'm sure this is on a lot of parents' minds, especially parents of children with special needs.  It's a struggle for any child to go from diapers to potty training, and even more frustrating for parents.  You really want your child to transition into the next stage of their childhood, but sometimes the speedbumps along that road are nearly the size of mountains.     But, how do you help your child transition from diapers to potty training, and how do you complete potty training?  Special needs children who are typically developmentally delayed, at least to some degree, are going to struggle with this more than normally developed children.  But how do you teach them how to clean themselves after a routine battle with #2?  This is where we are, struggling to teach this very simple, but very frustrating act of self-cleaning. 
     Parents, do not despair.  There is hope out there.  There are lots of fun, new products that encourage children to transition from the diaper to the potty.  There are potties that play music once a child has successfully used the potty, there are potties that look like toys you ride on with handles and everything, there are plastic, chld-size urinals (wish they had this when Teagan was going through this stage), potty training dolls, and reward charts.  But not all of these products will work for your child.  You just have to find what does work. 
     Rewards will always work for children.  Children love getting little gifts and praise for a job well done, so this is definitely a starting point for every child.  One technique we used was having Teagan go to the potty every hour on the hour, whether or not he needed to go, just to get him used to going, and anticipating the need.  It eventually worked for us, you may want to try this yourself.  Just find what works for you and your child, and run with it!  Lots of praise, no matter how small the deed, will go a long way.

AARRGGHH!!! Gods, he frustates the hell out of me!

     My child, who is an angel in my heart and soul, always... is also a little destructive devil.  The night of his birthday party, he was playing with a Thor hammer that his daddy was quite proud to have bought him for his birthday.  And part of playing with toys, in Teagan's mind, is completely destroying said toy.  He removed all of the foam around the inside structure, just to see what was in it.  Of course, this is not always the case, but the last two weeks, this is what he has been doing to all of his toys.
     Another thing he does is, when he gets mad, he will throw his toys, and if they break upon impact, he immediately gets upset that he broke them.  We have tried to explain to him before that his anger caused him to throw his toy and break it, but he will always try to blame it on the parent or person who angered him.  Because, after all, had they not angered him, he wouldn't have thrown and broken his toy.  Or at least he says so.
     It's just so aggravating, because Gods know we don't have any money, so what he does have, was bought out of love and the sacrifice of a bill or a tank of gas.  And then he destroys it because he's pissed off.  Grr!
     Anybody else have this problem?  If so, please, please, PLEASE let me know what you do.  I've had enough of his destructive behavior, I swear I am about to get rid of all his stuff.

New Teaganisms Poll

      Because Teaganisms have become so popular, I have added a poll on the home page.  Take a second to vote for your favorite Teaganisms post.  You are able to vote for more than one.  Once the voting period is over, I will re-post the one with the most votes.  And, if I can get Teagan to do it without telling him, I will try to post a video of him actually discussing one of his famous Teaganisms.
     I am very happy to see that everyone finds these as funny as we do, when they come spewing out of his sweet little face.  He's so funny, and I don't think he even realizes it.  Keep those e-mails and comments coming about your favorite ones or just your general thoughts about the wisdom and geniusness that is Teagan.

Say YES To Boobies or STARVE?

     I was reading a fellow blogger's post about this, and definitely had to check it out for myself.  Basically, the article states that the government is trying to reduce obesity by nipping it in the bud at birth.  This will be accomplished by promoting breastfeeding and denying new mothers the chance to use formula while they are still in the hospital. 

     When my sweet bundle of joy was born, I wanted nothing more than to breastfeed him.  However, for some reason, my milk did not come in for a very, very long time.  I was able to get barely an ounce a day with the breast pump, and I fed him as much as I could provide.  It could be that he was born two weeks early and my body was not ready?  I do not know.  So, we had to supplement with formula to keep from starving him.  Another issue I had, which is a bit more personal, we were not compatible.  We'll just say that Teagan's mouth was too small.  I tried for two weeks to breastfeed him, and when we went to the pediatrician, she informed me he was actually losing weight instead of gaining weight.  I told her about our issues, and she said we had to move to formula.  We did, but I still used a breast pump at home, trying desperately to give him the nutrients that breast milk can provide.  It just didn't work out for us. 
     So, how is the government going to force mothers to breastfeed when there are complications?  And the public is not always tolerant of breastfeeding mothers.  People stare, they are rude and make comments, restaurant owners do not want their patrons watching women whip out a breast in order to give their child boob juice.  It's embarrassing for the mothers, inconvenient, and takes time. 
     I'm not saying that breastfeeding is not great.  It's definitely the best choice for a baby.  But not everyone can do it or is able to do it.  The government has to be understanding of this.  It's just another way for the government to control parents, and I'm getting a little sick of it.  They need to bugger off, and let parents do what they feel are best for their children.  So long as they are not those abusive or neglectful children, of course.  But perfectly good parents who are doing the best they can for their children, and their children seem relatively healthy, safe, and thriving, they just need to leave them alone.

http://www.judicialwatch.org/blog/2011/aug/cdc-becomes-breastfeeding-police

This is why I hate people...

     My beautiful, generous, loving, and overly helpful son, Teagan, was enjoying his party yesterday at Chuck E. Cheese, when a woman and her very small daughter were coming down the stairs into the party area.  They were not part of our party, but were going to sit in some booths surrounding the party tables.  Teagan immediately went to them and tried to help her small daughter down the stairs, and the lady told him, "Stop."  And he said, "I'm just trying to help her down the stairs."  Then she said again, "Stop, leave her alone."  And he said, "I'm just trying to help!"  Then, this bitch, who I swear I was about to throw down with after I heard about this situation from his girlfriend's mom, said to Teagan, "But she is MY daughter."      

     Are you f*cking kidding me?  We have encountered situations like this before, and usually if I am there, I try to get Teagan to stop being so helpful, and the parents of his intended targets are usually like, "Oh, it's okay, he's not bothering blah blah blah."  They are very gracious and kind about it.  But this woman, who looked like she had been hit in the face with a shovel and if she smiled her face would break off, was a new breed of bitch.  I was so furious about it, literally four people had to hold me back from saying something to her.

     Yes, Teagan is overly helpful to the point of annoying people, but nobody, and I mean NOBODY has ever been rude about it.  If they are not understanding, they are at least tolerant.  It just angers me so much that anybody would act that way towards my child, especially not understanding why he does the things he does.  I curse her, in the hopes she becomes the victim of a natural disaster.  Mother Nature is a bitch, too, you know.

Teaganisms - Take 4

In honor of Teagan's birthday today, I give you a Teaganisms post.  And in two weeks, a second installment for this month. 

Now, say you love me.

Teagan runs into the livingroom the other day all in an excited fit. He says, "MOMMY! MOMMY! I think I'm growing armpit hair like daddy, because I was looking at my armpits and they stink!" So then he asks for a mirror, so he can see the armpit hair, that is still non-existent. Never seen anyone so excited to reach puberty.

While eating dinner at his grandmother's house, Teagan puts his milk away from him and over by his grandmother.  A few minutes later, he looks at her and says, "Hit me, mamaw."  I guess the look on her face said it all, because he immediately began to explain, "I don't mean hit me like smack me, I mean to give me a drink."  Go figure.  Has he been watching Poker After Dark or something?

Part of the reason this latest post for Teaganisms has taken so long, is because Teagan has been in rare form lately. He has been so hateful and mean, completely moody. So, the other day, in one of these moody moments, he was acting like a butt, and I wouldn't allow him to have a sandwich before dinner (go figure), and he was complaining, and I told him "Tough titties". And he says to me, "You're a titty, now give me a sandwich." Anyone else have moody brats out there? Holla!

The same day as the aforementioned incident, he was bugging me about having a second ice cream sandwich, and being a complete butt. So I told him to bugger off, and he says, "You booger off." I wonder if "booger off" is half as bad as "bugger off"? Or worse? What a potty mouth!

My husband is notorious for purposely aggravating me, and maybe one day I will devote an entire blog just to his nuisance. However, the other day, I asked him to buy me a 20 oz. soda at the gas station, and he comes out with a candy bar for Teagan, and a short, little, fat 12 oz. soda for me. I looked at him like "seriously?", and I said, "What's this?" He said, "You told me to get you a soda". I said, "Yeah, a 20 oz. This is a 12 oz". Then he pulls out another soda from his pocket, and I asked him, "Why do you do that to me?" And he says, "Just to aggravate you. The look on your face was priceless." Then he proceeds to go into his own version of the Visa commercial. "Candy bar for Teagan - 59 cents. 12 oz. bottle of soda - $1.09. 20 oz. bottle of soda - $1.59. The look on your face - priceless." And then Teagan just randomly says, "You lovin' me - priceless." ROFL What a HAM!

Normally when I pick Teagan up from school, I wait for him a little way down from his classroom, or just outside the building's main doors. One day, I stayed in the car, because it was 99 degrees, I was half-nekkid, (not really, but as close as I could decently be), and had no bra on. It was just too damn hot for one. So, Teagan came running out of the building, fell pretty hard, and skinned his knees. He was visibly upset by the time he got to the car, and asked me, "Mommy, why didn't you get out? I fell!" I said, "I didn't see you honey, I'm really sorry. I couldn't get out because I don't have a bra on." And he says, "Mommy, you should have gotten out. Nobody will throw trash at you because you don't have a bra on." I told him, "Well, that's good to know." Err... throwing trash? Only thing my husband and I can think of is when I tell Teagan I can't go in the store looking like white trash without a bra on. rofl He's so silly.