Teaganisms - Take 4

In honor of Teagan's birthday today, I give you a Teaganisms post.  And in two weeks, a second installment for this month. 

Now, say you love me.

Teagan runs into the livingroom the other day all in an excited fit. He says, "MOMMY! MOMMY! I think I'm growing armpit hair like daddy, because I was looking at my armpits and they stink!" So then he asks for a mirror, so he can see the armpit hair, that is still non-existent. Never seen anyone so excited to reach puberty.

While eating dinner at his grandmother's house, Teagan puts his milk away from him and over by his grandmother.  A few minutes later, he looks at her and says, "Hit me, mamaw."  I guess the look on her face said it all, because he immediately began to explain, "I don't mean hit me like smack me, I mean to give me a drink."  Go figure.  Has he been watching Poker After Dark or something?

Part of the reason this latest post for Teaganisms has taken so long, is because Teagan has been in rare form lately. He has been so hateful and mean, completely moody. So, the other day, in one of these moody moments, he was acting like a butt, and I wouldn't allow him to have a sandwich before dinner (go figure), and he was complaining, and I told him "Tough titties". And he says to me, "You're a titty, now give me a sandwich." Anyone else have moody brats out there? Holla!

The same day as the aforementioned incident, he was bugging me about having a second ice cream sandwich, and being a complete butt. So I told him to bugger off, and he says, "You booger off." I wonder if "booger off" is half as bad as "bugger off"? Or worse? What a potty mouth!

My husband is notorious for purposely aggravating me, and maybe one day I will devote an entire blog just to his nuisance. However, the other day, I asked him to buy me a 20 oz. soda at the gas station, and he comes out with a candy bar for Teagan, and a short, little, fat 12 oz. soda for me. I looked at him like "seriously?", and I said, "What's this?" He said, "You told me to get you a soda". I said, "Yeah, a 20 oz. This is a 12 oz". Then he pulls out another soda from his pocket, and I asked him, "Why do you do that to me?" And he says, "Just to aggravate you. The look on your face was priceless." Then he proceeds to go into his own version of the Visa commercial. "Candy bar for Teagan - 59 cents. 12 oz. bottle of soda - $1.09. 20 oz. bottle of soda - $1.59. The look on your face - priceless." And then Teagan just randomly says, "You lovin' me - priceless." ROFL What a HAM!

Normally when I pick Teagan up from school, I wait for him a little way down from his classroom, or just outside the building's main doors. One day, I stayed in the car, because it was 99 degrees, I was half-nekkid, (not really, but as close as I could decently be), and had no bra on. It was just too damn hot for one. So, Teagan came running out of the building, fell pretty hard, and skinned his knees. He was visibly upset by the time he got to the car, and asked me, "Mommy, why didn't you get out? I fell!" I said, "I didn't see you honey, I'm really sorry. I couldn't get out because I don't have a bra on." And he says, "Mommy, you should have gotten out. Nobody will throw trash at you because you don't have a bra on." I told him, "Well, that's good to know." Err... throwing trash? Only thing my husband and I can think of is when I tell Teagan I can't go in the store looking like white trash without a bra on. rofl He's so silly.