Having Lice for a Minute

     So, I haven't told this story yet, but it just reaffirms my hatred of all things educational.  (Please see my 5 past posts about "Hatred of all Things... Educational" for some insight to my opinion about the North Carolina school system.) 

     Teagan's school had scheduled for his class to attend a ball game of the local baseball team.  Teagan had seen them before, but that was before they changed their name from the Warthogs to the Dash, and before they built the new, fancy stadium, so he was really looking forward to going, for the past two months.

     So, that morning, as we were getting ready, Teagan went into the backyard to play, which wasn't usual for him.  We don't let him play outside alone, because of the type of neighborhood we live in.  It's just not safe, and you know how protective I am of him.  He climbed into his daddy's truck, which was covered in dirt and debris, because his daddy had cleaned out the gutters the day before, and hadn't had a chance to rinse off his truck. 

     Anyway, so we took Teagan to school as normal, and his dad and I arrived back at home around 8:30am.  At 8:45am, his school calls to inform me that Teagan is "complaining about his head itching and has black specks in his hair that looks like lice eggs, but there were no visible bugs." 

     Now, for those of you who have had lice as a child or ever dug lice out of a child's hair, you know that lice eggs are white, and if there are eggs, there are bugs.  Simple as that.  So these black specks were obviously dirt from the truck. 

     So, I go to the school with his daddy, and we look over him thoroughly, but at the same time, I am telling the lady who called that it's just dirt from playing around his daddy's truck and that lice eggs are white not black, (I honestly have no idea who this woman is, but she annoys me at least once a week).  And to boot, one of these "specks" was blue.  They have Smurf Lice now?  Seriously.  She explains that she can't put the other children at risk (of what?  Catching dirt specks?  OMG), and that he has to go home.  Well, that's total BS.  So I tell her, if I get him looked at by his pediatrician, and they say that he does not have lice (which I knew damn well he didn't), can he still go to the ballgame?  She said he could, but only with a doctor's note. 

     So, here I am, it's 9:15am, trying to get Teagan into his pediatrician's office well before noon, because that is when the bus would leave for the ballgame, and also dropping his daddy off for his appointment.  We got into the pediatrician's office for a 10am, bless them (Ford, Simpson, Lively, & Rice Pediatrics if you are in the Winston-Salem area), and I tell the woeful story about morons, having lice for a minute, and how ignorance is bliss.  And the verdict is... No lice.  Duh!

     So, we rush back to the school, I take him to class, I hand the teacher the doctor's note with a look that would melt lava, and he went to the ballgame.  Freaking seriously.  Educate yourself if you are worried about childhood diseases and epidemics.  I hate the school system.

Teaganisms - Take 5

Just so you know, this is extremely embarassing for me to recount, which should show you just how much I love you all. I hope you all choke on this installment of Teaganisms. ROFL Just kidding.


So... the other morning, I was fixing my hair while wearing a tank top, and Teagan looks over, and squeals excitedly, "Mommy! Mommy! You grew armpit hair!" ROFL I said, "Errr... yeah, now I'm a big boy, go away." LOL Later on I tried to explain the mysterious act of women shaving their armpits which completely confused him, and he gave up to watch television.


There is a little girl in Teagan's school, whom I have never heard of, until the day we were passing out his birthday invitations. He said, "Oh, I need to give one to Skylar." And I'm thinking, who? So, we go across the hall, and he hands one to this cute little blonde-haired, white girl about his age. I recognized this girl, because about 15 minutes before that, the kids got off the van from a field trip, and she says to me, "Hi Teagan's mom." I said hello back, but I had no idea who this kid was, and how she knew who I was. Now I know. rofl Well, the next day, we are taking Teagan to school and trying to figure out who this Skylar girlie is and why it was so important to him to invite her to his party, even though she isn't even in his class. And he says, "Mommy, can you put me on a dating site on the internet?" And I'm like WTF? So I ask him why, and he says, "So I can learn how to be nice to girls." And of course, again, I'm like WTF? And after asking him why, he says, "Because I want to date Skylar." Well, now we all know who Skylar is. You know, he's only 9 years old. It's not like he's even pre-teen yet. We are doomed!


One morning, on the way to taking Teagan to school, my husband and I were having a conversation. I don't remember what it was about, but I do know that it wasn't about anything that came out of Teagan's mouth. He says, "I'm not old enough to choose to make out or not to make out." I said, "WHAT?" And he repeats it. Then I ask him, "What is making out?" And he says, "When you date." So, I say, "Oh, well, it's good you aren't old enough to make out then." And then he says, "I want to make out with Skylar." My husband and I nearly died of a heart attack. And then Teagan says, "We're going to go to a restaurant." So, not only is he interested in dating this Skylar, but he also has it all planned out. He is going to go on an internet dating site, for what he presumably believes is to teach him how to be nice to girls, then he is going to take her to a restaurant, then make out with her. Heaven help us!

And if it isn't bad enough he has a girlfriend... he thinks once he gives his girlfriend her birthday gift, (see photo to the left), that they will be married, and are going to move in with us. Oh... ignorance is such bliss. If he knew just what marriage was all about, he wouldn't rush into it at the ripe old age of 9.

Introducing the AOTA ASD Blog Directory

     The Attack of the Autism ASD Blog Directory on the AOTA blog.  This is a new feature on the AOTA blog, and I hope placing all of the blogs that are ASD-related will help other parents with newly diagnosed children, parents who have been around the block more than once, or parents who are struggling with coping with ASD find new resources quicker.


    
FAQ's

Is my blog considered ASD-related?

ASD stands for Autism Spectrum Disorder.  Diagnoses listed under ASD are:

• Asperger's Syndrome
• Pervasive Developmental Disorder - Not Otherwise Specified (PDD-NOS)
• Autistic Disorder
• Rett's Syndrome
• Childhood Disintegrative Disorder. 

If you blog about any of these conditions, you are considered ASD-related.

Are serious or informative blogs only allowed?

No!  As you may have read, my AOTA blog is part serious, part informative, and part humorous.  No matter what topics you blog about, so long as the main focus of your blog is ASD-related, I will accept your blog.

What do I need to do to be listed in the AOTA ASD Blog Directory?

Below the AOTA logo, you will find tabs to my pages.  If you click on the "Link Exchange" tab, you will see a form that you need to fill out and submit.  When you come to the question, "Have you added the AOTA badge or reciprocal link to your blog?", choose the second option of "No, not yet..." and I will e-mail you the AOTA ASD Blog Directory badge specifically made for the directory.  Of course, you are more than welcome to grab my other badge, as well! :-)

How long will it take to get my blog approved and listed?

It may take up to 48 hours, but usually within a few hours of receiving your request.  If you have any questions, please feel free to e-mail me at AttackoftheAutism@rocketmail.com or through the e-mail listed on the AOTA blog profile.

I Warned You...

     I have previously told you all about the horrific year Teagan has had at school.  I told you about the assault by his bus driver, the kid in his class who punched him in the face four times because he just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, about the girl who pinched him because he told her he didn't see her nose bleeding, the teacher who left marks on his arm (later on, I found out there was at least one other child she had done this to and other unspeakable things to the same child - there's a word for her, it starts with a B and ends with an ITCH.).  So, after all of these things, I went to the school and told them this, "Teagan will put up with all of this for only so long.  Once he reaches his breaking point, he will fight back, and there isn't a damn thing I will say about it, because I'm telling you now, if you cannot keep other children's and adult's hands off my son, you will not like the consequences."  And I wasn't only speaking about what I would do if it happens again.
     So, one day, not so long ago, Teagan got into trouble at school for hitting and kicking another child.  Why did he do this?  Because the child was picking on him, like he always does, and Teagan had had enough of his bullshit.  Teagan did get a stern scolding from his father and I, however, I did warn them.  Again, more recently, Teagan hit another child because he had hit Teagan first.  We did the scolding thing, but again, we aren't going to punish him for something I warned the school would happen.  Teagan has every right to defend himself, if the school can't handle their kids.
     What I plan to do, is go to his classroom the next school day, and tell the children exactly what will happen to them the next time they lay a hand on Teagan.  I have already told the school that I will call the police if it keeps happening, and now it's happened twice since then.  Of course, both times Teagan did retaliate, but you know what?  It's self-defense, and even law enforcement will agree with that.  I've had enough doing it their way, their way doesn't work or keep my child safe, so now it's my way.  And if they haven't figured out by now just how much of a bitch I can be when it comes to my child, they will soon learn.

I Survived Chuck E. Cheese...

...but just barely. 
     I love throwing birthday parties for Teagan, and over the years, we have had some really fun parties.  The best, of course, was the year we threw him a pirate party.  Every parent in attendance said it was the best party they had ever been to, and though it took three months to plan it out, Teagan got maimed, and I was nearly dead by the end of it, it was the best party ever.
     But this year, it just seemed to take a lot more out of me than usual.  Every year we have special needs children at Teagan's parties, so it definitely wasn't the fact that this year was no different that caused my extensive exhaustion.  I just think I'm getting too old for this crap. lol
     This is why I've decided, next year when Teagan turns 10 years old, that will be the last year I throw him a birthday party.  Except for when he turns 16, 18, 21, 30, and 50, of course.  That is, if I live long enough to see those years.  The rate Teagan and his daddy are going, they are going to kill me long before I get the chance.
     Well, here are the long awaited photos... actually, you only waited a little over a week for these. rofl

Teagan's Cake

Teagan's 3' Chuck E. Cheese Balloon

The table is set!

The pull-string piñata

Teagan blows out the candles!

Teagan in the ticket cyclone machine thingy. rofl 

He really cleaned up in there! 

Ended up wtih over 1400 tickets!

Teagan opens one of his gifts

Teagan getting his grin on

Potty, Potty In Da House!

     Oh, the things I must discuss, but I'm sure this is on a lot of parents' minds, especially parents of children with special needs.  It's a struggle for any child to go from diapers to potty training, and even more frustrating for parents.  You really want your child to transition into the next stage of their childhood, but sometimes the speedbumps along that road are nearly the size of mountains.     But, how do you help your child transition from diapers to potty training, and how do you complete potty training?  Special needs children who are typically developmentally delayed, at least to some degree, are going to struggle with this more than normally developed children.  But how do you teach them how to clean themselves after a routine battle with #2?  This is where we are, struggling to teach this very simple, but very frustrating act of self-cleaning. 
     Parents, do not despair.  There is hope out there.  There are lots of fun, new products that encourage children to transition from the diaper to the potty.  There are potties that play music once a child has successfully used the potty, there are potties that look like toys you ride on with handles and everything, there are plastic, chld-size urinals (wish they had this when Teagan was going through this stage), potty training dolls, and reward charts.  But not all of these products will work for your child.  You just have to find what does work. 
     Rewards will always work for children.  Children love getting little gifts and praise for a job well done, so this is definitely a starting point for every child.  One technique we used was having Teagan go to the potty every hour on the hour, whether or not he needed to go, just to get him used to going, and anticipating the need.  It eventually worked for us, you may want to try this yourself.  Just find what works for you and your child, and run with it!  Lots of praise, no matter how small the deed, will go a long way.

AARRGGHH!!! Gods, he frustates the hell out of me!

     My child, who is an angel in my heart and soul, always... is also a little destructive devil.  The night of his birthday party, he was playing with a Thor hammer that his daddy was quite proud to have bought him for his birthday.  And part of playing with toys, in Teagan's mind, is completely destroying said toy.  He removed all of the foam around the inside structure, just to see what was in it.  Of course, this is not always the case, but the last two weeks, this is what he has been doing to all of his toys.
     Another thing he does is, when he gets mad, he will throw his toys, and if they break upon impact, he immediately gets upset that he broke them.  We have tried to explain to him before that his anger caused him to throw his toy and break it, but he will always try to blame it on the parent or person who angered him.  Because, after all, had they not angered him, he wouldn't have thrown and broken his toy.  Or at least he says so.
     It's just so aggravating, because Gods know we don't have any money, so what he does have, was bought out of love and the sacrifice of a bill or a tank of gas.  And then he destroys it because he's pissed off.  Grr!
     Anybody else have this problem?  If so, please, please, PLEASE let me know what you do.  I've had enough of his destructive behavior, I swear I am about to get rid of all his stuff.

New Teaganisms Poll

      Because Teaganisms have become so popular, I have added a poll on the home page.  Take a second to vote for your favorite Teaganisms post.  You are able to vote for more than one.  Once the voting period is over, I will re-post the one with the most votes.  And, if I can get Teagan to do it without telling him, I will try to post a video of him actually discussing one of his famous Teaganisms.
     I am very happy to see that everyone finds these as funny as we do, when they come spewing out of his sweet little face.  He's so funny, and I don't think he even realizes it.  Keep those e-mails and comments coming about your favorite ones or just your general thoughts about the wisdom and geniusness that is Teagan.

Say YES To Boobies or STARVE?

     I was reading a fellow blogger's post about this, and definitely had to check it out for myself.  Basically, the article states that the government is trying to reduce obesity by nipping it in the bud at birth.  This will be accomplished by promoting breastfeeding and denying new mothers the chance to use formula while they are still in the hospital. 

     When my sweet bundle of joy was born, I wanted nothing more than to breastfeed him.  However, for some reason, my milk did not come in for a very, very long time.  I was able to get barely an ounce a day with the breast pump, and I fed him as much as I could provide.  It could be that he was born two weeks early and my body was not ready?  I do not know.  So, we had to supplement with formula to keep from starving him.  Another issue I had, which is a bit more personal, we were not compatible.  We'll just say that Teagan's mouth was too small.  I tried for two weeks to breastfeed him, and when we went to the pediatrician, she informed me he was actually losing weight instead of gaining weight.  I told her about our issues, and she said we had to move to formula.  We did, but I still used a breast pump at home, trying desperately to give him the nutrients that breast milk can provide.  It just didn't work out for us. 
     So, how is the government going to force mothers to breastfeed when there are complications?  And the public is not always tolerant of breastfeeding mothers.  People stare, they are rude and make comments, restaurant owners do not want their patrons watching women whip out a breast in order to give their child boob juice.  It's embarrassing for the mothers, inconvenient, and takes time. 
     I'm not saying that breastfeeding is not great.  It's definitely the best choice for a baby.  But not everyone can do it or is able to do it.  The government has to be understanding of this.  It's just another way for the government to control parents, and I'm getting a little sick of it.  They need to bugger off, and let parents do what they feel are best for their children.  So long as they are not those abusive or neglectful children, of course.  But perfectly good parents who are doing the best they can for their children, and their children seem relatively healthy, safe, and thriving, they just need to leave them alone.

http://www.judicialwatch.org/blog/2011/aug/cdc-becomes-breastfeeding-police

This is why I hate people...

     My beautiful, generous, loving, and overly helpful son, Teagan, was enjoying his party yesterday at Chuck E. Cheese, when a woman and her very small daughter were coming down the stairs into the party area.  They were not part of our party, but were going to sit in some booths surrounding the party tables.  Teagan immediately went to them and tried to help her small daughter down the stairs, and the lady told him, "Stop."  And he said, "I'm just trying to help her down the stairs."  Then she said again, "Stop, leave her alone."  And he said, "I'm just trying to help!"  Then, this bitch, who I swear I was about to throw down with after I heard about this situation from his girlfriend's mom, said to Teagan, "But she is MY daughter."      

     Are you f*cking kidding me?  We have encountered situations like this before, and usually if I am there, I try to get Teagan to stop being so helpful, and the parents of his intended targets are usually like, "Oh, it's okay, he's not bothering blah blah blah."  They are very gracious and kind about it.  But this woman, who looked like she had been hit in the face with a shovel and if she smiled her face would break off, was a new breed of bitch.  I was so furious about it, literally four people had to hold me back from saying something to her.

     Yes, Teagan is overly helpful to the point of annoying people, but nobody, and I mean NOBODY has ever been rude about it.  If they are not understanding, they are at least tolerant.  It just angers me so much that anybody would act that way towards my child, especially not understanding why he does the things he does.  I curse her, in the hopes she becomes the victim of a natural disaster.  Mother Nature is a bitch, too, you know.

Teaganisms - Take 4

In honor of Teagan's birthday today, I give you a Teaganisms post.  And in two weeks, a second installment for this month. 

Now, say you love me.

Teagan runs into the livingroom the other day all in an excited fit. He says, "MOMMY! MOMMY! I think I'm growing armpit hair like daddy, because I was looking at my armpits and they stink!" So then he asks for a mirror, so he can see the armpit hair, that is still non-existent. Never seen anyone so excited to reach puberty.

While eating dinner at his grandmother's house, Teagan puts his milk away from him and over by his grandmother.  A few minutes later, he looks at her and says, "Hit me, mamaw."  I guess the look on her face said it all, because he immediately began to explain, "I don't mean hit me like smack me, I mean to give me a drink."  Go figure.  Has he been watching Poker After Dark or something?

Part of the reason this latest post for Teaganisms has taken so long, is because Teagan has been in rare form lately. He has been so hateful and mean, completely moody. So, the other day, in one of these moody moments, he was acting like a butt, and I wouldn't allow him to have a sandwich before dinner (go figure), and he was complaining, and I told him "Tough titties". And he says to me, "You're a titty, now give me a sandwich." Anyone else have moody brats out there? Holla!

The same day as the aforementioned incident, he was bugging me about having a second ice cream sandwich, and being a complete butt. So I told him to bugger off, and he says, "You booger off." I wonder if "booger off" is half as bad as "bugger off"? Or worse? What a potty mouth!

My husband is notorious for purposely aggravating me, and maybe one day I will devote an entire blog just to his nuisance. However, the other day, I asked him to buy me a 20 oz. soda at the gas station, and he comes out with a candy bar for Teagan, and a short, little, fat 12 oz. soda for me. I looked at him like "seriously?", and I said, "What's this?" He said, "You told me to get you a soda". I said, "Yeah, a 20 oz. This is a 12 oz". Then he pulls out another soda from his pocket, and I asked him, "Why do you do that to me?" And he says, "Just to aggravate you. The look on your face was priceless." Then he proceeds to go into his own version of the Visa commercial. "Candy bar for Teagan - 59 cents. 12 oz. bottle of soda - $1.09. 20 oz. bottle of soda - $1.59. The look on your face - priceless." And then Teagan just randomly says, "You lovin' me - priceless." ROFL What a HAM!

Normally when I pick Teagan up from school, I wait for him a little way down from his classroom, or just outside the building's main doors. One day, I stayed in the car, because it was 99 degrees, I was half-nekkid, (not really, but as close as I could decently be), and had no bra on. It was just too damn hot for one. So, Teagan came running out of the building, fell pretty hard, and skinned his knees. He was visibly upset by the time he got to the car, and asked me, "Mommy, why didn't you get out? I fell!" I said, "I didn't see you honey, I'm really sorry. I couldn't get out because I don't have a bra on." And he says, "Mommy, you should have gotten out. Nobody will throw trash at you because you don't have a bra on." I told him, "Well, that's good to know." Err... throwing trash? Only thing my husband and I can think of is when I tell Teagan I can't go in the store looking like white trash without a bra on. rofl He's so silly.

Happy 9th Birthday To My Sweet Baby Teagan!

To celebrate Teagan's 9th birthday, and his first blog birthday extravaganza, we will be looking at Teagan through the years.  Prepare for the cuteness.

Newborn Teagan

Year One

Year Two

Year Three

Year Four

Year Five

Year Six

Year Seven

Year Eight

Year Nine
(He's actually 8 in this photo but it's 3 days before his birthday, so it will do.)

Brat Ban? OH HELL NO! 2/2

    *BIG SIGH*  Okay, so it obviously took me a few days to calm down, but that is not to say that I am still not pissed off about this whole mess.  Seriously.  Some people are just born to hate and I was born to hate them. 

     I was surprised that I haven't heard not one comment from any of my readers, and I know you have been reading my last post on this, because it moved up to my #1 most read post.  So, what's the deal?  I really want to know what you all think of this. 

     So, what do you think about it?  Send me an e-mail, send me a comment, send me something, but let me know that I am not the only one who thinks this is a load of bollocks.
     Aside from you all ignoring me... LOL  So, I think this is just one more way for the government to control how we raise our children.  They already say we can't spank them, or Child Protective Services will be called.  And when I say spank, I don't mean beat.  Just a swat on the bottom.
     So, it's because of this that children seem more ill-behaved in public nowadays.  Parents really are not allowed to discipline their children, appropriately.  Saying, "Now, Susie, don't do this, don't do that", doesn't always make a child stop.  In fact, a sibling-attitude towards your child can ruin your authoritative persona, making the child rude and beligerant towards you, because you have no control over them.
     What is the bottom line?  The government and the public is at fault.  They want to fuss about how children behave?  Make them have a child first, and see how well they do.  I guarantee they will change their tune, pretty quickly.

My College Papers - New Tab Added

     I have added a new tab to the AOTA blog. It's called "My College Papers", and these are papers that I wrote for college about Teagan and his disabilities. There is a lot of good information in these, and I thought I would share them. Just click on the "My College Papers" for the link or click on the "My College Papers" tab at the top of the blog, then click on the titles to view the actual papers. Please respect my generosity, and do not copy these papers and submit them as your own. Thank you.