Teaganisms - Take 5

Just so you know, this is extremely embarassing for me to recount, which should show you just how much I love you all. I hope you all choke on this installment of Teaganisms. ROFL Just kidding.


So... the other morning, I was fixing my hair while wearing a tank top, and Teagan looks over, and squeals excitedly, "Mommy! Mommy! You grew armpit hair!" ROFL I said, "Errr... yeah, now I'm a big boy, go away." LOL Later on I tried to explain the mysterious act of women shaving their armpits which completely confused him, and he gave up to watch television.


There is a little girl in Teagan's school, whom I have never heard of, until the day we were passing out his birthday invitations. He said, "Oh, I need to give one to Skylar." And I'm thinking, who? So, we go across the hall, and he hands one to this cute little blonde-haired, white girl about his age. I recognized this girl, because about 15 minutes before that, the kids got off the van from a field trip, and she says to me, "Hi Teagan's mom." I said hello back, but I had no idea who this kid was, and how she knew who I was. Now I know. rofl Well, the next day, we are taking Teagan to school and trying to figure out who this Skylar girlie is and why it was so important to him to invite her to his party, even though she isn't even in his class. And he says, "Mommy, can you put me on a dating site on the internet?" And I'm like WTF? So I ask him why, and he says, "So I can learn how to be nice to girls." And of course, again, I'm like WTF? And after asking him why, he says, "Because I want to date Skylar." Well, now we all know who Skylar is. You know, he's only 9 years old. It's not like he's even pre-teen yet. We are doomed!


One morning, on the way to taking Teagan to school, my husband and I were having a conversation. I don't remember what it was about, but I do know that it wasn't about anything that came out of Teagan's mouth. He says, "I'm not old enough to choose to make out or not to make out." I said, "WHAT?" And he repeats it. Then I ask him, "What is making out?" And he says, "When you date." So, I say, "Oh, well, it's good you aren't old enough to make out then." And then he says, "I want to make out with Skylar." My husband and I nearly died of a heart attack. And then Teagan says, "We're going to go to a restaurant." So, not only is he interested in dating this Skylar, but he also has it all planned out. He is going to go on an internet dating site, for what he presumably believes is to teach him how to be nice to girls, then he is going to take her to a restaurant, then make out with her. Heaven help us!

And if it isn't bad enough he has a girlfriend... he thinks once he gives his girlfriend her birthday gift, (see photo to the left), that they will be married, and are going to move in with us. Oh... ignorance is such bliss. If he knew just what marriage was all about, he wouldn't rush into it at the ripe old age of 9.